Laos woman, are in my opinion the loveliest people in all of Asia , but read this before you dare enter into a romance with one..
In September 2014 I traveled from Bangkok to Phuket to see a friend on holiday from UK.
We went out on the second night for some drinks at the bars and there dancing like a crazy woman was a petite cutie who I later asked to buy her a drink, she told me she was from Laos I was like, whatever it's one planet right and you are hot, long story short we fell madly in love.
A true Holiday romance.
Very shortly after we had a baby in August 2015 Chiang Mai Thailand whilst I was contracting up there.
On afternoon whilst staring into our baby's eyes I said
"Let's get married"
She looked at me like I was mad, which hurt at first, and then she explained she was so flattered and would love to, but did I have any idea of how difficult it will be.
I have lived in Thailand since 2005 and met some lovely Thai woman and dated a few over long periods of time. Southeast Asian culture is predominantly about family. When you are poorer than a lot of your western counterparts the need for family unity is more prevalent.
As a Western visitor to Southeast Asia you have to understand their ways. The ladies will always send money home to their family, the sons take a new wife and are in the main relived of the burden, and if you earn a lot more than she does, then you have to accept that you will have to contribute financially to her family back home, younger brothers and sisters Grandma etc.
Once you have gotten over this and man up to the fact that if you want to date some of the most beautiful woman in the world there is a price to pay, then you can find your bliss here.
Laos woman are not too dissimilar in their culture to Thais, yet they are mostly poorer than their Thai counterparts. Many Laos people work in Thailand, It's an awful economy, many things are expensive if you live here, western food way too pricey, and imports from Thailand more expensive. Many Laotians fill their cars full of products they know to be expensive in Laos when crossing the border back to Laos from Thailand. Water and soda drinks is more expensive. Laos beer however is much cheaper I have lived in Laos for 14 months I can confirm this to be true
Why do I live in Laos? Well I wish I wasn't, apart from a few lovely waterfalls and the Mekong you can see in one weekend, living here in Pakse in Champasak province has been a bit of a prison sentence to be honest with you.
If you come to Laos with your Laos girlfriend you, by the letter of the law, cannot sleep in the same room, Nobody is really sure if this is really forced or not, and I have never spoke or met anyone where this has been enforced.
If however for example; you meet a lovely Laos girl in a club say in Vientiane tonight and you ask her to go back to your hotel for a nightcap she will NOT! Simply because its breaking the law of the land and the security will nab her and she will be in trouble with the authorities.
We did however come over and sign in a hotel together this is tolerated if they see rings and you stroll in confident as if you are man and wife! It is a far cry from the other countries in the region.
To get married to a Laos lady in her home country whilst living in your separate houses of course, takes a number of echelons of family chiefs to sign off your chit, and of course be paid for their time, this takes an average 14 months and will cost you around 2,000 U.S.D., alternatively if you have more money than sense; there are lawyers in Vientiane that will do it for around 3,000- 5,000 U.S.D. and get you married within a couple of months.
We are going to go to Hong Kong or UK and try to get married that way, but then there are stories of your marriage not being recognised in Laos, and that means even if you have been together 30 years and have 5 kids you will have to sleep in separate houses each time you go visit your Laos side of the family.
Then they will try to tell you your children cannot have dual nationality, I am here to tell you that is hogwash, just get a Laos passport and then go to your consulate in another country and get the passport for your child for your country as well.
In the South you will struggle to find short term rentals, down here almost everything is a year upfront, I almost had to sell a vital body organ to find a years rent for us to live whilst trying to get married.
Living in Thailand with your Laos girlfriend is easier, but then you have two visa runs to organise every 1 or three months depending on what visa you have, and don't for a second think that the ASEAN community has made it easier for Southeast Asian people to move freely around the region, your Laos girlfriend will be on the border bus as often as you will be, twice the bills, twice the time, and who wants to take a 2 year old toddler on a visa run at 530 in the morning!?
I adore my little Laos wifey to be and the Laos people have endeared themselves to me like no other people, and they agree with us that their government is so hard on marriage between foreigners and they try to make the changes but communism is very strong here and old family values are so fanatically observed to the detriment of expanding their economy.
So if you are in that bar one night anywhere in Asia and you find out your date for the evening is from Laos she had better be truly amazing like my wife to be, because the issues you are going to have to face compared to falling in love with Thai woman will test you to breaking point.
True love conquers all
Love and peace Alan