When we feel misunderstood, we start to experience identity conflicts (Who am I in this interaction?) Sometimes; we create a false image of the other and vice-versa. All of us want to be seen positively, and when people see us differently, we feel humiliated, embarrass, excluded, unimportant, or low-power individuals. People in conflict try to maintain their sense of self. One of the best ways to deal with this type of conflict is to clarify identity— say who you are- and correct other’s assumptions.
We need to have a positive self-identity. When losers are created, the losing group or individual waits for time and place to make it right. Either by getting back to the winners, by subverting the ongoing process, or by leaving the relationship, work setting, or group. Trying to resolve problems making the other person look bad will make everything worse, and they undoubtedly will respond negatively.
Help others to increase their sense of self-esteem. Show empathy. For example, “ I know you were doing what you thought was best.” Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. People do tend to do what they think is best at the time. Listen carefully to others and take their concerns into account. Ask questions so the other person can examine his or her goals by asking questions instead of attacking.