Love and affection are an integral part of any intimate relationship. Unfortunately, many adults today find themselves at a loss when seeking to nurture a relationship with that special someone. Some have never experienced tender love and affection themselves or have been hurt deeply in the past and now shun all forms of love and affection as a defense against further infliction of pain. Others think that they are being loving and affectionate only to find out too late that they have fallen short and their partner’s needs have been sorely unfulfilled. In order to understand the role of love and affection in a healthy relationship and express them appropriately, it is important to understand what love and affection are.
What Is Love?
Love is often mistakenly referred to as a feeling. Love at first sight is equated to a magical occurrence where destiny binds two individuals for life and they ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. This theory works for those who live in the world of fairy tales, but leaves those of us who live with reality wondering what went wrong when the excitement of a new relationship wears off. Love is often blamed for the breakup of many a relationship with the chilling conclusion of, “I just don’t love you anymore,” or, “I just fell out of love with you.”
The simple truth is that love is not a feeling, but a choice. This type of love and the resulting affection serves as a foundation for a lasting, healthy relationship.