THE CITY CALLED LAGOS
I live in Lagos Nigeria, so I am not even going to try sugarcoating this, being a Nigerian in Nigeria is already complicated enough. Now try being a Nigerian living in Lagos Nigeria, it is even crazier. According to research, Lagos is the third most stressful city to live in.
Don’t get me wrong, Lagos is a beautiful, fun, and adventurous place but then again, it’s a place where the strong survive and even if you're not, you'll most definitely learn how to survive here. As the popular saying goes, “if you can survive in Lagos, you can survive anywhere else”. Jokes apart, living in Lagos will practically turn you from an AJEBUTTER to an AJEPAKO.
Take me for instance. I am tough, resilient and a coconut head(lol, here in Nigeria, it's like saying I am self-willed and stubborn when necessary). Move me anywhere else and I will thrive because Lagos molded me, Lagos toughened me, Lagos taught me, Lagos is me.
PS: Ajepako- This slang can be used to identify people who are tough, no-nonsense with a spice of crazy here and there, they are able to adjust to any situation and would survive even under the hardest conditions.
Ajebutter- This slang can be used to identify a person who is soft or Someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth or who is delicate and has not experienced the harshness of life.
Lagos, officially known as Lagos Metropolitan Area is the largest city in Nigeria and the most populous city in Africa, with a population of 14.8 million in 2015. As of 2018, Lagos had a population of approximately 23.5 million, making it the most populous metropolis in Africa.
People relocate to Lagos from every single state in Nigeria in their droves(well, not me because I was born and brought up in Lagos. My parents did the relocation thingy, bless them) hence, it is congested. Little wonder my friend Chiagozie says we need a real-life ‘Blip’ from the movie Avengers where half of the world’s population disappeared(expensive joke innit?). Basically, most people in Nigeria see Lagos as the promised land.
Even old Nollywood movies have this storyline where a young man living in a village goes to Lagos because he is tired of living in penury, he returns to the village a few months later with a car and loads of groceries, clothes, and goodies for his family and friends all the while repeatedly saying to his mum MAMA, I MADE IT.
Here’s why. There are a lot of industries and business enterprises in Nigeria based in Lagos, which means there is a higher chance of building your career and rising to the top of your chosen field in Lagos as opposed to anywhere else in Nigeria. Simply put, Lagos is the economic hub of Nigeria.
Lagos is made up of all kinds of people, the craziest kind of people there are.
Anything and everything is possible; you’re either smart or outsmarted.
This reminds me of a particular day when I boarded a public bus(danfo- term for public bus). The driver stated that the fare was N200(200 Naira), I had just N1,200 in my purse so I opted to give the bus conductor the N1,000 note just so I’d get change. Somehow, I gave him the N200 instead. About 10 minutes into the ride, the driver started to ask for money again.
Me: With a facial expression as hard as rock
Excuse you, I don pay your conductor now oga, you no go follow your conductor talk?
(Excuse you, I have paid your conductor Mr. Won’t you ask your conductor?).
Driver: Madam, I no get conductor o, who you give money?
(Madam, I do not have a conductor, who did you pay to?)
Me: Oga, but I have paid the N200, which kine thing you dey talk sef?
(What are you even saying?)
At this point, I got really upset until he said to look around. I realized there was actually no bus conductor. Apparently, I had paid the money to a random ‘Agbero’ (thug) who was standing right beside the open window where I was seated. I had asked to confirm that the fare was N200 to which he nodded in affirmation.
In Lagos, it is completely normal for conductors to collect bus fares through the window before the bus leaves the park, so I thought nothing of it. Immediately I realized what had been done I burst out laughing alongside the other passengers.
To tell you the truth, I wasn’t upset, I was amused and thankful that I didn't give him my N1,000 note. In Lagos, you have to SHINE YA EYES(be street smart).
Do not even get me started on Lagos traffic, the roads are highly unpredictable; today the roads are free, tomorrow there’s terrible traffic such that it starts to look more like a parking space than a major road. And for some reason whenever it rains, the roads seem to have minds of their own. I’ll do a complete piece on this someday where I’d highlight different routes.
Every Lagosian has a story to tell(I mean who wouldn't in a fast-paced environment such as this). It's a tough place but I can't imagine living anywhere else(within Nigeria that is).
Lagos is a beautiful place, Lagosians are good people. We look out for each other.
There is something truly special about Lagos. Even in the midst of chaos, there is a human bond at its core. Beyond the facade of class, we are similar in more ways than can be imagined.
Eko o ni baje oo
(EKO O NI BAJE is literally translated as Lagos will not go bad/Lagos will always prevail)
PS: If there is any slang you do not understand, please ask me in the comments, I’ll be glad to explain it to you.
If you read up to this point I’ll assume you loved every bit of this post. So, thank you!!!