Sad but true in the current market conditions! My retirement age could be 97 if I am lucky, because nothing goes in my favor. Instead of building wealth I keep doing bad choices!
I can't blame myself for the bear market, but for sure for some bad investments. I decided to take a break from bleeding charts and I touched grass today.
Not metaphorically! I mean full hands-on in the slightly damp grass. It was part of a bold new coping strategy to forget the crypto bear market and that my portfolio is 90% down!
People say fresh air clears your mind. They don’t tell you it also reminds you how long it’s been since you’ve seen sunlight without checking your portfolio every six seconds.
I stood there blinking like a confused mole, wondering if grass has a floor price or if it’s just permanently undervalued. I tried to find my zen mood with a meditation...
Naturally this moment of personal growth led me to do some financial planning. I went home and opened a spreadsheet, took a deep breath, and faced reality like a responsible adult.
After careful calculations and projections... plus what I can only describe as emotional damage... I’ve discovered I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for about seven minutes.
Eight if the market turns around. It’s a tight window but I’m optimistic. I’ve already started budgeting for those seven minutes, maybe six minutes of relaxation and one minute to check charts one last time!
Meanwhile, the future is getting weird in ways I’m not sure we’re ready for. Right now we prove we’re human by clicking traffic lights and crosswalks in CAPTCHA tests.
But give it a little time and the tables are going to turn. Soon we’ll be the ones trying to convince robots we’re one of them. Why? Because we will trust AI agents with our life!
Please select all images where the human demonstrates inefficient emotional decision-making. I’ll ace that task. Years of panic selling have prepared me perfectly.
I can already mimic an AI agent trough minimal blinking, constant recalculation, and absolutely no understanding of why I bought that token in the first place. 50th decimal of Pi please!
The real disconnect is with my friends... the normies. I say it with love, but they just don’t get it. They’ve never felt the unique thrill of watching a portfolio drop 99%.
They never said “well it can’t go much lower… right?” and they don't know hacks, exploits, and projects disappearing overnight are part of character development.
They don’t know the emotional rollercoaster of a rug pull, where one minute you’re planning your early retirement and the next you’re googling “is this legally theft or just vibes?”
Crime season every week! This is lore because you don’t invest in crypto... you survive it! So yeah... I touched grass and made a retirement plan. The future is here!
I’m preparing for a future where I have to out-robot the robots. I will still call my friends normies, because they’ve never stared into the abyss of a collapsing chart and shouted ... WE RIDEEEE!
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