Whether you are the kind of person who tends to lie a lot or you just don’t open up to those around you, being honest can be so much more rewarding. Not only does being honest with others make you happier, it can help you form such special bonds. Some people lie automatically as a defense mechanism because it isn’t always easy to tell the truth.
Let’s take a look at how you can learn this new skill of always being honest, which will greatly improve your quality of life and lead to a lot less stress.
- Be Truthful to Yourself
You can’t be honest to others, if you are first not honest with yourself. If you are constantly making up excuses for certain behavior, then it’s time to accept yourself and for all your flaws too. Once you become happy with the person that you are, you will feel absolutely no need to lie. If you need to take better care of yourself to be content in your life, then start doing this.
Things like eating well, regular exercise and finding a hobby that you enjoy doing can really make all the difference to your mental health. Take care of your body and mind in whatever way you can, this will greatly help you in being the real person within and accepting yourself. Sometimes spending more time alone to really get to know YOURSELF before you let others in, is necessary. - Change the Thing That Makes You Lie
Maybe you are lying about something in particular or a whole bunch of small things. If you are lying about smoking or drinking too much for example, do your best to change these bad habits and then you will no longer need to lie about them. This falls into the last point I made about being the best version of you possible.
Maybe you do not lie about yourself, maybe you are not honest when somebody asks for your opinion on something. When somebody asks “Does this dress look good on me?” the automatic response is “Yes!” even if that is not true. Instead of LYING in this example, choose your words wisely and perhaps recommend another outfit that would look “even better” on them.
Remember that you do not have to be overly nice to everyone you meet or try so hard to be a people pleaser. Most people would much rather you tell the truth if it stings slightly, than to sugarcoat a lie. - Don’t Strive to be Somebody Else
One of the main reasons why people are not always honest is because they are constantly trying to be somebody else. Having to always impress someone might make you exaggerate on the life you really have and this should not be the case. The only person who needs to genuinely like you, is YOU.
The people who truly care about you, will do so without you making yourself out to be someone you are not. If you want to build meaningful relationships with somebody, they have to know the real you who is standing before them. You might not feel confident about the person you are but you should be. Nobody is perfect but you are unique, so learn to love every part of yourself even the bad parts.
We all have personality traits that are not perfect, it’s human nature and the world would be boring if we were all the same. On the other hand – I bet there are many character traits you have that others really desire, so just remember that next time you are tempted to not be honest about something. - Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
Not being honest doesn’t always necessarily mean lying, it could be that you are just hiding parts of your personality that you are ashamed of. This can be really common especially when during the early period of a romantic relationship because there is that imminent fear of heartbreak. We all want to be the best version of ourselves possible but you should also let the true you come out as soon as you can.
If you are really serious about being with someone, be honest to them including things that have happened in your past that might be painful but made you who you are today. Being this open with someone is risky but more often than not, it pays off. If you are not truthful about who you are, that special someone isn’t getting the real you and when you reveal your true self, it could end the relationship abruptly.
wear your heart on your sleeve be honest - Consider Going to Therapy
If you are still having problems with lying or are just not being honest with yourself, consider going to therapy to discuss the matter further. There is only so much you can do for yourself and going to therapy might be the only thing that can help you, at this stage. You should not be ashamed about speaking with a professional about your issues/insecurities, they deal with this everyday and we all need a little help from time to time.
If you really want to go to therapy but are afraid of the unknown just remember that, the benefits you will experience from being truthful are going to be huge. I’m sure there are many qualifies therapists/counselors in your area, so take a look around to find out what is right for you.
Conclusion
There is no excuse for lying, big or small and you should really try hard to be more honest. When a person figures out that you are not being truthful about something, they are going to find it hard to trust you again because they will doubt everything you say.
Remember that the way you behave defines your character and do you really want a reputation as someone who can’t be relied on? Change your habits today and just learn to be more open with the people around you.
Remember there is a big difference between being truthful and being cruel, so always be tactful in the way that you speak to others. Kindness doesn’t cost a dime and neither does being honest!