On moving in:
A few years ago, after making some seriously questionable judgement calls that ended up working out 'okay,' I was given some --seriously hurtful, yet real -- advice from an outsider:
"Instead of being a really awesome friend, sometimes, why don't you just try to not be a shitty person, all the time"
Ouch.
A few weeks ago, I started the process of moving in with my wonderful big sister, who also happens to be a very close friend, and nightly co-worker/manager at spiritus.
During the process, I've been trying to be a really awesome roommate, sometimes: buying things we need, painting rooms, evacuating spiders, but when she came to me, kindly mentioning a night I left the apartment "like a jungle" and rushed into work, I totally panicked.
I got super defensive and a little bit mean, referencing all the things I have been doing "right," and for the first time ever, that advice that made me cry a couple years ago, made me think.
Instead of being an awesome roommate sometimes, I have to just not be a shitty roommate basically all the time, by not getting mean and defensive every time I'm imperfect.
Painting the entire place on my day off is NOT necessary; communication is.
So thank you, wicked mean boy from the past, I think I'm gonna live by that one for a while now :)
xx monique