Hello and welcome to a new installment to my blog, Let's Talk Tuesdays. This is where every Tuesday I'll bring up a topic that will be up for discussion. I'll share my thoughts and experience and you can share yours as well.
Today's topic will be maintaining friendships. This is something I struggle with irl and online. I just don't communicate very well. When I do it's usually through text. Not very vocal lately, other than with my kids or my therapist. I just got back from an appointment with my therapist and this topic was brought up. I was letting her know most of my friendships are non existent nowadays in real life. I started talking about how I recently lost a friendship I've had since elementary school. She didn't want to be my friend after I had posted a picture of me in a veterans ball cap a fellow vet had just bought me. She also mentioned I haven't been sticking up for black and brown rights like I use to. I don't think she noticed I had taken a break from social media all together.
In my mind, I don't owe anyone anything. My political views were not written on that ball cap/hat. I had served in the United States Navy during Operation Enduring Freedom and so did the friend who had bought me that hat. I had never been proud of my service. It's hard to when I'd been kicked out and called a piece of shit by the executive officer of the ship. Why would I muster up any pride towards my service? I also felt no need to explain myself to this friend who decided to cut me out of her life. Did it hurt? Not until today. Mentioning it today hurt like hell. But like I said to my therapist, I try not to take it personally. She had gone through more than her share of pain and suffering. I cannot take it personally when I know everyone has their own path. I guess this is why maintaining friendships is so hard for me. If I'm feeling some type of way, no one comes to mind. If no one is there, then so be it. But, what about reaching out? This is where I see maintaining friendships is important. No one person is an island without ports. I just need to remember that it's not needy to want to talk to someone. I guess since this recent loss it's been hard wanting to maintain any friendships. " You can't get rejected if you're never connected."
I'm starting group therapy next Monday. I think it will be interesting to see if I make any friends through this group. My intention is to just observe and experience what it's like to be around other people that may have had similar experiences as me. The group specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. My therapist explained to me that this means finding balance which I can definitely benefit from.
I feel like I didn't stay on topic here but I have some closing questions to think about.
What does maintaining friendships mean to you and how important is this to you?
Do you feel obligated to maintain certain friendships? And if so, why?
What do you do to maintain your Friendships?
Thanks for stopping by and reading this new installation. Leave a comment. Let's talk ✌✨