Today's discussion is straight from the DBT handbook; wise mind. So, I've gotten familiar with practicing mindfulness. Next step for me is using what's called wise mind. I'll get into the pros and cons as well as the three mindsets and their pros and cons.

What is Wise Mind?

When you are taking into account what you think and what you feel in a balanced, logical manner during a situation, you are in your wise mind. This means not just going with what feels good as the solution but also not just being completely rational without thinking about how the decision will make you, or the people involved, feel.

For example, let's say there's a situation where someone is voicing themselves in a manner that attacks your character. This doesn't sit well with you so you have a choice to make. In an emotional mindset, you might fight fire with fire and end up saying things you might later regret. In a cool, reasonable mindset, you might not even respond despite not having closure or standing up for yourself, completely ignoring how you feel about the situation or your values. Wise mind is the middle path, you may speak your mind, speak your truth in a logical, and meaningful way without stooping down to their level. In wise mind, you are looking at the facts and only stating what you know to be true.

The 3 Minds

Emotional mind

Pros

• Experience of love
• Empathy
• helpful to gauge safety

Cons

• "Hot" (hot headed, easily angered)
• Mood-dependent
• you are ruled by your moods, feelings, and urges to do or say things. Facts, reason, and logic are not important.

Reasonable Mind

Pros

• cool, calm, collected
• Rational
• Task-focused

Cons

• you are ruled by facts, reason, logic, and pragmatics. Values and feelings are not important.

Wise Mind

Pros

• see the wisdom within each person
• seeing the value of both reason and emotion
• brings the left and right brain together
• The middle path ☯️

Cons

• none

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Ideas for Practicing Wise Mind

The mindfulness skills are something that usually require constant practice, in my experience. It's something that should be practiced before you need it, in easy situations. That way, when the time comes, the skill will become automatic. It is suggested that you practice with your eyes closed and with your eyes open.

1. Stone flake on the lake

Imagine that you are by a clear, blue lake on a beautiful, sunny day. Then imagine that you are a small flake of stone, flat and light. Imagine that you have been tossed out onto the lake and are now gently, slowly, floating through the calm, clear, blue water to the lake's smooth, Sandy bottom.

• Notice what you see, what you feel as you float down, perhaps in slow circles, floating toward the bottom. As you reach the bottom of the lake, settle your attention there within yourself.
• Notice the serenity of the lake; become aware of the calmness and quiet deep within.
• As you reach the center of your self, settle your attention there.

2. Walking down the spiral stairs

Imagine that within you is a spiral staircase, winding down to your very center. Starting at the top walk very slowly down the staircase, going deeper and deeper within yourself.

• Notice the sensations. Rest by sitting on a step, or turn on lights on the way down if you wish. Do not force yourself further than you want to go. Notice the quiet. As you reach the center of your self, settle your attention there -- perhaps in your gut or abdomen.

3. Breathing wise in, mind out

Breathing in, you say to yourself, Wise ; breathing out, say Mind

• Focuses your entire attention on the word "wise," then, focus it again entirely on the word "mind."
• Continue until you sense that you are settled into Wise Mind.

4. Asking Wise Mind a question

Breathing in, silently ask Wise Mind a question.

• Breathing out, listen for the answer
• Listen, but do not give yourself the answer. Do not tell yourself the answer; listen for it.
• Continue asking on each inhale for some time. If no answer comes, try again another time.

5. Asking is this Wise Mind?

Breathing in, ask yourself, "Is this [insert action, thought, plan, etc] Wise Mind?"

• same process as exercise number 4.

6. Attending to your breath coming in and out, let your attention settle into your center.

• Breathing in completely, notice and follow the sensations of your breath coming in.
• Let your attention settle into your center, at the bottom of your breath, at your solar plexus -- or
• Let your attention settle in the center of your forehead, your "third eye," at the top of your breath.
• Keeping your attention at your center, exhale, breathing normally, maintaining attention.
• Settle into Wise Mind.

7. Expanding Awareness

Breathing in, focus your awareness on your center.

• Breathing out, stay aware of your center, but expand awareness to the space you are in now.
• Continue in the moment.

8. Dropping into the pauses between inhaling and exhaling.

• Breathing in, notice the pauses after inhaling (top of breath)
• Breathing out, notice the pauses after exhaling (bottom of breath)
• At each pause, let yourself "fall into" the center space within the pause.

[Information from my notes and : DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan. ©2015 by Marsha M Linehan.]

Are there any Wise mind practices you've developed? Feel free to share them with me in the comments section below! So far I've really enjoyed the very first exercise. The hardest one for me is asking Wise mind a question or asking if a certain situation is Wise Mind. It always feels like I'm just telling myself what I want to hear so I really have to keep practicing until it feels right and not forced answers.

Thanks for tuning in to another Let's Talk Tuesday with SpaceStace! Namaste