Growing up gay is hard.
It's harder when you don't have a family member or close friend that is gay to mentor you and explain your feelings and thoughts.
So where are the majority of closeted teens to turn to when it comes to guidance and acceptance? Celebrities and public figures of course. Their words and music, even their own sexuality, can help ease the pain and confusion that comes from figuring out your true identity.
Today, I've made a list of the top 3 celebrities that helped me during my pre-teen and teenage years even after I came out.
Pink
The iconic pop-punk star has always been supportive of the lgbt community as an ally. In 2010, she received the Ally for Equality Award from the Human Rights Campaign. In her acceptance speech, she said the words I needed to hear as a 13 year old terrified of high school,"High school sucks, but life past high school is awesome. There are people waiting with open arms to appreciate you for who you are. There is a family that you will create. There are friends out there waiting to just love you and celebrate everything about you."
Only two months later, she released "Fucking Perfect" which would end up playing in the background during my first kiss with a girl.
Ellen DeGeneres
The famous talk show host is known globally as the first lead in a sitcom to announce her sexual orientation in 1997. Since this was the same year I was born, I had the pleasure of growing up with her talk show on in doctor's offices and daycares. Although I didn't watch her shows until later in my high school years, I remember how important her representation was. I often got an idea of who was supportive of the community by finding out their views of Ellen. I know this wasn't a bulletproof method, but hey, I was a teenager.Another main reason Ellen was so influential to me was her marriage to Portia de Rossi in 2008. By the time I was 14-15 and really understanding my identity, the two stars had been married for 5 years. To have a role model that isn't just gay, but also is in a committed and successful relationship, was so reassuring. It was like holding a banner up saying "you CAN have a happy, fulfilling life and be accepted, but also be in the lgbt community." Now as a young adult, I value Ellen for her compassion, her comedy, and her personality. However, by just being an "out" lesbian on daytime television was enough to help me accept myself.
Ellen Page
Ellen Page is known well for her roles in Juno and the X-Men series. In 2014, she came out at a Human Rights Campaign event, Time to Thrive. She explained, "I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered. And I'm standing here today, with all of you, on the other side of all that pain." Ellen Page came out years after I did to my family, but I always admired her. If you are lgbt, you may understand when I say I have a very keen sense of who will end up coming out, and Ellen Page was always on my list.Opposed to my lesson learned from Ellen DeGeneres, by knowing that Ellen Page was most likely gay, but had kept quiet about it, I felt like it was also okay to not be ready to come out yet. I can understand the pain she must have felt with staying in the closet for as long as she did, and I do know now that being yourself is better for your stress, health, and happiness. In general, though, knowing that you don't have to be flamboyant and loud to be gay was helpful to me as a straight-passing gay teen.
Did you grow up with celebrity role models? If so, what did they help you through in your adolescence?