Many of you know me as Objectivist Girl, or more accurately, anarcho-Objectivist Girl. But not many of you know the story of how I got to that pivotal role. But, more importantly, why should you care? Because, once upon a time, I was a big dumb statist.
But why? Because I thought hugging trees was really cool and someone who was "really cool" told me that to be liberal was to be compassionate. Well, of course, growing up Catholic, I really wanted to embody compassion. It was prime in getting my ticket to heaven. So I bought every word of it, line and letter, and when it was questioned, I would stand my ground, firmly and ignorantly.
Let's be really honest for a moment. I never had even one single good argument for how the government helped the poor. Not a single one. So why did I defend my ideas so adamantly?! Because I was biased.
Biases are like drugs. They're addictive. It makes us feel high as humans to be right. For some reason we have gotten it into our heads that to be wrong is one of the worst things that can happen. I blame the education system, honestly. But, as humans we are prone to confirmation biases through our circle of friends we choose, the network we tune into for the news and the books we read. We set ourselves up to be "right" at every turn by surrounding ourselves with people who agree. So how do we turn the tide?
The answer lies in the story I'm about to tell you. The story of how I stopped being a big dumb statist, through my boyfriend.
When he found me, I was genuinely lost. I had very little direction in life. I was taking courses in a college my parents picked out and in a major that my mother decided I would be good at. I didn't have any passion or any drive. Unless you count my obsession with helping the poor, specifically in Uganda. I was very adamant about the American government doing something about the problem. Sending money and troops were among my top suggestions at the time.
When I met this man, he let me be me, as frustrating as that was. He would answer me when I had questions and hold my hand through the reality that I was discovering, that government wasn't the answer.
That kind of acceptance and love I received from him is the ONLY reason that I took an interest in his views. Because I knew he would love me no matter what, I began to explore in the safety of that love. I read Ayn Rand for the first time and began bombarding him with endless questions about how the world really worked and, never with any ego on the matter, he would answer my questions thoroughly.
I began to read more and more and that is how I discovered that if I really cared about the plight of the poor, I would need to change my views. History was a great indicator of how little the government ever did to end poverty and how often they were in fact, the largest factor in its prevalence. That is when I realized that I had become a Libertarian. But that's not the central point.
The central point is that I came to those ideas on my own because I never felt pressured or judged. As I said earlier on, people are very comfortable with their own ideas and will seek out biased information to confirm those beliefs, so arguing with them makes them uncomfortable. Their fight or flight response takes over and at that point you might as well be talking to the Berlin Wall.
Only through love and acceptance do people come to recognize the truth. When we allow people to come to us and learn from our ideas in a safe space, they put down their walls and start asking questions; the questions they specifically need to get there.
It is hard to know everyone's qualms with an idea. It is much easier to let them tell us and address it, kindly.
And when you feel like your patience is low and you are losing hope in a conversation, just remember, once upon a time you were a big dumb statist, too.
Keep seeking!