My name's Abi and I am here to testify that boys and girls can be good friends (in Christ).
Caption: That's me, feminine and sweet yet wanting to explore pure friendships with males.
I grew up surrounded by female friends with only my dad, male cousins, uncles, and a very few male classmates as the male figures of my life. The rest of the males in my life were passive or simply bullies. In college, I entered the world of Engineering. As expected, I did have a lot of male classmates. I wasn't interested in establishing friendships with theme except for the "feminine ones". However, at the back of my mind, I prayed: "God, give me male friends. Those male friends who will widen my perspectives. I don't want to have male friends just because I want to have a boyfriend. I just want to learn and become a blessing to them."
Caption: I belong to a loving close-knit family.
Praise GOD! He answered the humble prayers of a young woman like me. When I joined the MAS AMiCUS, a student organization aiming for the holistic development of students and the nearby community, I met male friends. Most of the males that I encountered in college befriended me because they're into romantic relationships. I wasn't ready for that. So, when I get into my early 20s, I enjoyed the beauty of having genuine male friends.
Caption: That's Mack. I have worked with him in the writing ministry.
So, here are the lessons that I learned from those male friendships:
1. There are still guys who are serious about "marriage"
Living in the post-modern world, I used to think that it's only dad or my uncles who are really serious about choosing wisely when it comes to "marriage". When I met, Godly guys, that assumption became wrong. There are men who are really serious about the thing called marriage. I remember when my male friend, Prex, share about his thoughts about marriage, "...we really have to think and pray about finding a lifetime partner.." Many of these guys, share to me their thoughts about their ideals in a home and how they are asking God to help them be the right husband. How sweet!
Caption: That's Wenn and Prex - two of my closest male friends. Our friendship has been tested through thick and thin.
2. I have seen their soft spots (males do cry, too!)
In many funerals, I grew up singing women crying most of the time with the men as their stronger arm. It was when I met male friends when I proved that though they appear mostly strong and confident in the public, they have their soft spot, too. I remember one night in Camiguin, a younger brother in Christ, shared his fears and sadness on her younger sister being pregnant out of wedlock. I could see his anxieties about his sister's future. On the other hand, I was struck when I guy cried in front of me and my sister as he shared his "family problem". This guy was a "phlegmatic achiever", intelligent and just so kind. But he's got a soft spot, too. We prayed for him and thank God, that family problem was solved!
Caption: Meet Neri, an smart biologist who longs to become a medical doctor someday.
Caption: That's Dong B, a guy who is just so funny and positive in life. It's contagious.
3. They do ask for advice from you (seriously)
Working with men as EXECOM for four years led me to the fact that though they're really good at leadership (of course, women are GOOD, too!), they need counsels. They're humans, too. I have seen how humble they were when they asked me for some advice. I felt like, wait, I'm not used to it. I'm used to being advised by my father. I'm kind of submissive but not abused. I could still recall the time when a guy asked me what to do with the toxic relationship he's in. He loves her but they're not just compatible. They would argue about principles and life seems so chaotic for him. I asked him to pray about it, talk to her about those issues, ask counsels from the elders (parents, pastors, old friends, etc.) and read the Word of God.
Caption: That's Poy. He's the friend who'll sing with you as you travel whether in buses, vans, or jeepneys.
Caption: Meet LJ, a dedicated student leader. He's most of the time silent but when he leads, he really does his best.
Well, those were just some of my thoughts. Those were my opinions, guys. Your experiences may not be the same with mine.
For me, I praise GOD for meeting those generous (they'll treat you with food!), protective, and loving men. I may not have become their gf but I'm blessed to have them as friends. :)
Excelsior forevermore!
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