"Here I am again, yet another time of cramming papers staying up late until early morning, doing what most of my fellow students are doing. They say, "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade" but thinking about it now... I believe I'm not making a tasty one--- a bit bitter I guess? One that has tears and sweat in it but not with me making the most of what I can do. There are many ways of how you could think about this situation in different perspectives but there is only one reality, and the reality is me releasing my stress now by writing a blog... actually I take that back. Rather than releasing it, I'm expressing it. Expressing my thoughts, entertaining whatever comes in to mind and moving my finger as if I'm playing a piano with no certain direction as to where the notes I play will end, but still... the stress remains.
As I look at the clock, as I hear the lizards noise as if their looking at me with disappointment and saying "tsk, tsk, tsk", I tilt my head from side to side then spin it all around, then finally softly slapping my face with both of my hands while saying to myself, "wake up! wake up! your still not finished. You don't want to disappoint your goupmates. You would not like to experience their glares at you because of your failure to meet their expectations again", such is the life of simple me. And there I remember the saying, "one word is enough for a wise man"--- but what if there was no word, just stares... not knowing what are they thinking. "Will they forgive me? did they understand my situation? or are they angry at me? I don't know!", but nevertheless there is a lesson to be learned from that experience, and an experience that was indeed... again with the lemons.
I'll just swallow and swallow as long as I can still. I'll wait patiently for my justice and endure what I have to endure, for there are no trials He will allow that I cannot withstand. I'm happy even when I'm feeling sorrow... strong even when I'm tired and smart even when I am dumb. I "give" with the expectation that I will receive something in return, but not from you, but from someone who knows what's best for me. Whether He makes me face troubles or hardships or any other kinds of trials, even to the point where I have to give or offer my life... I will gladly do so because still, He knows what's best for me."
... maybe I'll end it here for now (so much for the piano playing). I hope you enjoyed listening to my inner thoughts :3
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Thank you very much! ^ ^