surrounded by mess?

So I am a writer in the self-help niche.

I've a blog where I gather my audience.

I've an email list in which I write to them. I also try my best to reply emails.

In general, whoever I meet in life, I extend a helping hand the best I can, telling people I am available to listen and help.

There have been great results:

• Emails of gratitude sent to me singing my praises. The feeling is out of this world.
• Friends thanking you for the support.
• People telling you the impact you had on them.
• In general just feeling awesome that you're doing something right.

But there're also side effects:

• People I just got to know who think it's okay to spam me a ton of texts, which can be very overwhelming.
• And when I don't reply, they text again asking why I didn't reply, ironically adding another text on top of it all.
• Younger kids who cross boundaries and think it's okay to crack inappropriate jokes (this happens a lot because well, kids are immature and stupid.)
• People who show up uninvited. This happened to me once when I was with my then girlfriend on our last night before her flight home. I ran into a friend and we just said hi. Later on, he unexpectedly showed up and sat himself down at our table.
• Fans of my blog who criticize the shit out of my blog even though they don't know what blogging is really about. I remember full well the times fans who wrote in praises of my writing, only to instantly get upset when I experimented with new content and promoting affiliate products. One fan replied in capital letters that what I did "WAS AWFUL."
• When you try to explain to them rules and boundaries they get upset because they feel they offended you. Or worse, they start to accuse you of being too sensitive and stuff.

Is it an inevitability that there'll always be side effects when it comes to being nice and helpful?

That is the question.

I get that people who really need help would want that help, thus thereby being oblivious to the fact that they may be coming across as too needy and clingy.

I get that people who want to offer help want to do something good, but they don't realize that sometimes unsolicited help doesn't really help.

Such a conundrum huh? 

The best kind of relationship are the ones with healthy distances

And I believe this applies to all relationships.

Nothing is ever good when it comes in droves or taken to extremes. That's why rules and boundaries must be set.

Even if you want help or are helping someone, you must respect the person's individuality and time.

If it means taking a step or even not talking at all, then so be it.

And it all boils back down to finding the answers yourself

The people around you are mere guides that reinforce what you're truly about.

Allowing them to dictate your every move isn't the way to go. This happens when you go into extremes with your relationships; when you deal with absolutes.

You end up forgetting yourself.

By all means then, be nice and helpful, but remember to help yourself.