Let's talk today about how parents raise unconcerned children. And do we even become so - unadapted to life. And if we become, then it's all about society, problems, people that surround us or in ourselves ... Is this our choice or are we still subject to strong influence from outside?
For me, this topic is quite unusual, simply because I cannot call myself not fit for life or a hard-hearted woman who went through all the problems that fate had prepared for her.
The thing is that today I started to read an interesting book. I thought that maybe I should read Russian classics. I thought that maybe I should read Russian classics. I was reading really a lot of Russian classics but I was mare. I decided that I read something from IA. Gocharova. Did you heat about his? I did not expect at all that I would like this novel so much, especially since it will push me to write this article ... There are, after all, surprises in life!
The novel begins with the fact that a mother is crying. She cry because her son come to live to the capital of Russia. At time of this novel the capital was Peter. When I readed a first chapter I was completely discouraged by how my mother did not want to let go of her adult son. I saw in her and modern moms. They say to their sons and daughters, "Put on a hat," "What did you eat?", "Did you eat?", "Did you wash your underwear?", "Did you go to the shower?", "Did you brush your teeth?" For me it's just a nightmare. It so happened that my mother granted me freedom of choice around the age of 14 - 15 years. She stopped washing dishes for me, stopped cooking (of course, I could eat what was in the fridge, but from about this age she stopped cooking for me personally, and given the fact that I always ate more properly than all of my I had to learn to cook myself, which I, incidentally, did not like very much). In general, my mother in my 15 years old said that I'm a big, adult and intelligent girl and it's time for me to begin to quietly answer for myself. For which I can only thank her! Therefore, reading about how Mom collects socks for his 18-year-old son, who decided to move to St. Petersburg, it is strong ... Even too much ...
And for me this moment is just amazing. On this occasion I can tell a situation from my life. I went shopping a couple of years ago. And so I observe such a picture. The woman asked the man to go to the counter and buy some special sausage. He went, he asked. The seller asks: "Sausage cut or plain?" Then the man falls into a kind of trance. She turns around and half a shop asks the woman about what sausage they need - sliced or not. The woman shouts back at him that she needs a regular sausage, at the same time notifying everyone about this within a radius of one hundred meters.
In general, he bought not cut sausage. But that's not the point. The bottom line was that a man could not make a choice in such a simple matter. In an absolutely elementary issue. And in my opinion, it's scary. It's terrible when a person does not know what he wants from life, why he wants it. It's scary when a person does not know what choice to make ...
I had a period when I did not know what kind of ice cream I wanted. I remember standing at the fridge in the store and just bursting. It was not because I had big choice. It was because I juat couldn't do this choice.
You know what I think about love. It seems to me that to love is to help people to be strong. I want that my child can live without me. Really!. Sometimes I wonder - will my child be able to live without me, will it be adapted to life? After all, I need children not to take care of him and run after him all my life, satisfying his basic needs and desires. No, I bring up, I cultivate MAN!
I think that the role of parents is to teach the child. It is necessary to show the child how to do this or that thing / action correctly. Then try to do it with him together, in order to correct, help. And then shut up. In my opinion, a parent should teach his child, and then shut up and confidently transfer the case to the child's hands