"Most communication resembles a Ping-Pong game in which people are merely preparing to slam their next point across; but pausing to understand differing points of view and associated feelings can turn apparent opponents into true members of the same team.”
- Cliff Durfee
The Modern World is very fast, we are constantly running somewhere, to our work, or to some meeting, then finally home. In our lives, at every moment there are events that need to be given their reaction. It takes all our attention and thoughts. For this reason, we often just do not have time to stop and engage ourselves in the usual conversation. Have you ever had moments when, during a conversation with a close friend or family member, you actually thought about unfinished business or what has to be done tomorrow? I have such situations happen quite often.
Some time ago I've read a philosophical treatise written by Erich Fromm, it's called The Art of Love. Erich Fromm is a famous scientist in the field of psychology of the 20th century. All his life he devoted to studying such a phenomenon as love.
This treatise is divided into two parts, in the first the author describes the theory of love. In it, Erich Fromm shares his thoughts with his readers about the love of parents, friends, yourself, as well as a human of the opposite sex. The second part is devoted to practice. When I moved to this part, I was thinking about what kind of practice could be in love?!
To my surprise, Erich Fromm offered his reader "to be here and now." He believed that this is the best practice in order to develop a healthy sense of love for oneself, for life and for surrounding people. To be here and now means to be in this moment not only physically, but mentally, and emotionally. To be present mentally means not to run into the future and the past, not to think about work, if you eat or read, or you have a conversation with someone.
If you eat, then enjoy the taste of food. As my friend said: "Strawberry should be eaten so that those around you, after looking at you, also want to eat it." It is necessary to read as if the World in the book is a real World and you are completely immersed in it.
And being present emotionally - it's just being sincere with yourself and with the people that surround you. Do not be shy and show the world around and people their feelings and emotions. If you get angry, so be angry in a way that it is noticeable, don't keep negative emotions in yourself, so that people "do not say anything." And if you rejoice, make it so sincere that it could be seen by the whole World.
When I finished reading the second part, I decided that it's worth trying to stick to this attitude to life for at least a week, to clearly feel on myself, and whether something will change in my life, in my emotional state. I'll run ahead and tell you that now I can not live any differently.
I'll start with the topic of being: "here and now." Thanks to this practice, for the first time in my life I began to live. Previously, I always ran and did not notice anything around me, not the beautiful, clear sky, nor the incredible beauty of our building. In general, nothing but the sidewalk and the color of the traffic light. When I started practicing, my life became brighter and more diverse. Is it really so difficult to raise your head and "turn on" when you go to work? Then the familiar road begins to seem something incredible and beautiful. I began to stop and look at the sky, because it is very beautiful. I would compare this with art.
Now with confidence I can say that my life is an art, a very beautiful art. I began to recognize the fragrances around me and began to feel the softness of the towel in the mornings. The most important thing that I got with the advent of these changes, it's a buzz and an increased level of energy. Much faster rest, if you look at something beautiful that fascinates you.
Now I will tell you about the changes in my life related to the purity of emotions. I stopped thinking about "What will people say?" In my opinion, this is freedom. Now I show my feelings and emotions openly, without feeling constrained. I'm not ashamed to say directly if I do not like something, but I also say it put loud when I do like something. I think this greatly simplified the life of my loved ones, because now they do not have to guess why I'm not in the spirit right now or whether am I okay with the things going certain direction.
My simplicity and sincerity in communication contributes to the fact that people want to communicate with me as sincerely. It was after I took this point as an integral part of my life, the level of trust relations increased dramatically, they became closer, more sincere and real.
I sincerely and truly wish you to feel every minute of your life, enjoy them and with this help improve relationships with the loved ones.
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