What is defeat? Antonym of the word " defeat " is the word "victory". Everyone, or almost everyone, man strives for success - a victory, whether it's education, work or personal life. Understandably, everyone wants to efforts made for this, it was not in vain. Victory and success inspire man raise his self-esteem and exalt in the eyes of others. About the winners say that they do not hurt and wounds.
About lesions can also say quite the opposite. It is, figuratively speaking, a person knocks down, unsettling. His self-esteem is reduced, it seems to him that the witnesses of his defeat staring at him with pity, condescension and even contempt. Again and again he scrolls the situation in his mind, trying to figure out where a mistake. Because of fears that his next action ended in defeat again, he begins to stagnate.
And, of course, it contributes to the pessimistic further failures, because that victory loves those who are confident in their abilities.
However, not all agree with that opinion. The famous French writer "Antoine de Saint-Exupery" observed that "... the victory weakens the people and defeat awakens in him new strength."
"Stefan Zweig" wrote "Mary Stuart", the Scottish queen: "Who wants to bend the woman, just help her straighten up to his full height. Any blow of fate, if we look deeper, to her advantage, as the unintentional walth is a priceless gift. "
So whether or not to give up after the defeat and to engage in self-torture? And after the victory rest on our laurels in the belief that now she will accompany us always?
There is an old proverb. It tells the story of a man who began to pursue failure: lost job, health was upset, grieving relatives. Wise old man advised him not to get frustrated and hang in a prominent place on the home plate with the inscription: "It will not always be." The man obeyed, and eventually he was adjusted life: work found better than the previous, health got better, and stopped close to deliver trouble. And now he had a chance to meet with the old man again, and he boasted to him how everything was wonderful. And the old man answered him: "You are only a sign do not shoot ...".
If we did not know what evil is, we would not appreciate the good. If you would not have known the bitterness of defeat, they would not have experienced the joy of victory. The black bar in our life gives way to white, and defeat - a victory. In the words of British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill, and so he had to go through and that, and another, "Success - this is not the point of failure - is not the end; the only thing that matters - it's the courage to continue to fight. "
How to find the "courage to continue the struggle"?
1. If you can not change the situation, change your attitude towards it
The defeat has already happened, it is in the past, and how much we want to change the situation we can not. Why waste time on thoughts like, "If only ...", "I had to ..." or "it was not necessary ..." useless. Psychologist and business coach Jim Rohn says that he was hoping for a long time, until his life changed for the better, until he finally realized that the only way to change your life - it is change itself. And Winston Churchill observed: "... changing your mind, you change your own universe."
Defeat or failure is perceived as one of the steps of the staircase leading to the victory.
The American inventor Thomas Edison, who is known not only as a great, attitude to failure very optimistic, he said that each of them brings it closer to success. Before the well-known Edison invented the incandescent light bulb, he spent more than ten thousand experiments. Who else, but he would not have called them failed, and dropped his hands long before their number is equal to a thousand. But Edison said that he did not know failure. Experiments are not brought the expected result, he called a successful way to determine the options that are worthless.
In 67 years, Edison survived the fire its own factory. It was a matter of his life, besides it was invested a lot of money, but insurance covered only a third of the losses. It is not a catastrophe and a reason to fall into despair ?! But Edison is looking at the situation from the other side and says that there have been developments and worse, it is not yet too old to start over, besides the construction of the new factory will relieve his boredom. Witnesses say his unusual composure during a fire: he sent for his wife and son, because it is hardly ever more they will be able to see such a vivid spectacle. When asked why he is so calm, Edison said that the fire allowed him to get rid of old junk heap. Of course, there was not only the trash, but also documents, expensive equipment, but any other behavior was pointless and could not save the factory. Instead of fruitless regrets he took action, and a year later she began to work and bring profits, far exceeding the losses.
Thomas Edison echoes Soichiro Honda founded the company Honda. He said that the work - is to overcome repeated setbacks and constant self-analysis, success is crowned by a mere 1% of the work.
2. Stop and defeatists consider themselves losers
There is a category of people who call themselves "losers in life", "chronic failures." They float through life to where it brings them. His defeat they justify the fact that "the so-formed card", "stars as agreed." And do not do anything to change the situation: what if everything is predetermined and preordained.
The psyche of the people, and particularly impressionable, so arranged that if a man has a hundred times called a pig, then on the one hundred and first he zahryukaet. Thus, if you constantly repeat myself: I am a loser, I did not turn out, failure will fall in abundance.
Changing the mindset to positive program yourself on the positive, we change their lives for the better. They say that thoughts are material. It happens to us what we think, because our actions follow our thoughts. For example, if we sit on the bike and start to think that now is certainly Vrezh in the post, so it will happen, because all our attention will focus on this post.
So, instead of "I know that I have once again does not work, because I'm a loser," we say to yourself, "All is well!".
3. "Never give up!"
Who has not heard the parable about two frogs falling from the jug of milk! One of them almost immediately accepted defeat and went to the bottom, saying: "All the same, we do not get out of here ...". The second is decided that it is always time to die, so why have not to fight for life, there is strength. She worked legs and floundered as long as the milk is not whipped butter, and then jumped out of the jug. So the people: the majority shall be long before there will come a defeat.
Defeated, do not get hung up on it and try to see light at the end of the tunnel and move to it. As they say, every situation has at least two outputs ( "... and especially if you eat", - continued the jokers). While "not come evening," and the person is alive, he can do any number of attempts to turn a loser into a winner.
"The rich and the famous," the Briton Richard Branson, except that it has a 5-billionaire, it is also famous for its venture in business, and some of them will fail. In addition, on account of his several attempts to set world records, and there are also bad when he had to resort to the help of rescuers. According to him, the main lesson that life gave him - "try, try and try again - but never give up!".
4. Do not blame others for his defeat
Some people are inclined to self-flagellation, and any lesions immediately blame yourself, even if it is not. Others, by contrast, will never admit his guilt: their failure is always to blame someone else. As a rule, it is a difficult time and the government.
Blaming others and engage in self-justification - very unhelpful. This self-deception, because so we will never know the true cause of our defeat, we can not draw conclusions and move on, and remain forever in the swamp clarify relations account information. Old, we will remember that once were able to or even talented, but could not realize itself, because it is not born at the time, in the wrong place and not those of parents.
So is not it better not to waste time looking for those responsible for our failures, and look in the mirror to see the main culprit? As he wrote" Krylov" fable about the Monkey and Mirror: "What gossips take to work, not better eh themselves, godfather, turn around?".
5. Lesions help us to get to know yourself
The defeat could render us one more service: thanks to him, we realize that in fact, stronger than currently thought.
Sometimes it seems to us that the defeat - is a dead end. After that we did not have the strength not only to move on, but even rise. However, we have to rest up, licking their wounds, going with the thoughts - and now are ready for new challenges, but grown up and wisdom . In the words of German philosopher "Friedrich Nietzsche": "Everything in life that does not kill me makes me stronger."
If we had not suffered defeat, so we would never have learned this myself.
6. Due to the defeats we gain experience
"For one broken two unbeaten give," says a popular proverb. Some Western companies, in accordance with this principle, when hiring new managers give preference to those who have already once defeated. Failure is a kind of fuel for the ideas that later can literally transform the entire industry and bring huge profits. One business consultant said that on the occasion of the failure is to organize parties, and not shy away from them.
Some successful companies (for example, Coca-Cola) annual shareholders' meeting begins with the fact that its CEO lists befell company failures. Clearly, the same principle guided by the famous American "road king" Henry Ford, who treated failures as an opportunity to start over, but "smarter."
It is interesting that in some modern companies deliberately create situations that lead to failure. This is done in order to strengthen the creative potential of employees. For psychologists, oddly enough, consider that the more often people make mistakes and fail, the faster and more successful than they are to learn and gain experience. That is the conclusion they came on the basis of many experiments. In particular, in the process of training of the company's new computer program, one group they are allowed to make mistakes, and the second was banned. As a result, those who have mastered the program by trial and error, have made it much faster and better.
Lesions - instructive wins. American writer and a former military man, "Jeff OLiri "noted that "victory taught naive and defeat - the wise." Of the lesions can be removed thousand lessons while following the victory - units. Do not run away from injuries and to examine them and draw conclusions - that is what is valuable.
