Everything started when I realized I have too many issues in my head - with my family, relationships, I was worried about the future, I started having panic attacks, sleeping was not an option because of the repeating nightmares. Every night they were more and more frightening. Days and nights felt like one horrendous hallucination in my head.

All of this led me to the use of antidepressants. Well, our family doctor diagnosed me with DEPRESSION, and yes, I really started believing that I am sick and this was my biggest mistake. I just needed to talk to someone who listens, I didn't need a prescription for a drug that corrects the chemical imbalance in the brain. How can a doctor just assume something like that after talking to you for 5 minutes?

The good thing is, I didn't really have depression (I think), I just needed to find the answers for myself. And to find the answers I needed to ask the right questions - "why am I here?", "why are there so many obstacles in my path?". Once I went through almost all of the forums full of people with mental illnesses, sharing what they are all going through and how prescription drugs affect their lives, I gathered enough information to know that I am not ill and I don't need drugs to feel better. This was maybe just a phase where, well, this is a bit too personal but suicidal thoughts have passed through my mind.

Antidepressants are said to replenish the levels of serotonin in your body. Serotonin is thought to be a contributor to feelings of well-being and happiness. But it has never been proved that depression is caused by low serotonin levels. So why use prescription drugs if doctors don't even know what causes depression? In my opinion, we can all heal ourselves without even using medication.

I found the answer for myself - MEDITATION.

A friend of mine was practicing it and and offered me to try it.
This is where my journey began. At first, I was sceptic about it. How can you just sit and stop thinking about your problems? How can you just really sit still without worrying? How can breathing calm you down? It sounded like a big fat joke to me until I started doing it.

Meditation can be defined as a practice where you focus your mind on a particular object, or thought or even on your breath to achieve a mentally calm state. It helps reduce stress, anxiety, pain and you can even enter a different state of consciousness. There are different ways to do it - you can be sitting, lying in bed, with your eyes closed or open, you can be repeating a mantra or not. Also, different religions have different types of meditations.

I started meditating by focusing on my breath - inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Listening to it, feeling the air going from my nose to my lungs and out through my mouth. The first 5-6 times I just couldn't do it because of all the thoughts flowing through my mind. I was getting impatient as I really wanted to see if I can do it. The 7th try was the first successful attempt and I could not believe it. How can a person focus on his breath and just stop thinking, worrying and everything? I just sat still, I was just there, existing, breathing with my eyes closed for 30 or 40 minutes, didn't matter. The time was not my concern, I could've stayed like this for hours. I opened my eyes and felt different - like I had been resting for days. "This is it." - I said to myself. "This is going to be my medication."

From that moment on, I started meditating every day for 30 minutes. Mornings are the best time to practice, because it gets the mind clear, fills you up with positive thoughts. But I never have the time in the mornings as I work from 9 am to 6 pm and getting up at 7 am is a big challenge for me. So I do in the evenings.

How to do it - most important steps:

• sit comfortably
• breathe deeply
• close your eyes
• scan your body part by part, and notice any sensations
• be aware of any thoughts you are having and let them pass through
• if your mind starts wandering, refocus on your breath
• when you are done just open your eyes gently

For beginners, 10-15 minutes are enough, but once you get used to it you can do it for 30 minutes or even more. It all depends on you. You can find a mantra of your own to repeat and focus on. You can also find different kinds of meditations - Transcendental meditation, Heart rhythm meditation, Kundalini, Guided Visualization, Zazen and many more.

My personal favorite is The Inner Child Meditation which I accidentally found while listening to some calming sounds. This is one where you talk to your child-self and well, I cried while practicing it, and I cried a lot. But this is the one where I really felt like I found some answers for the state I was in. Depression? No, there were just some things I needed to figure out, things that happened to me while growing up, things I never thought had hurt me subconsciously, feelings buried deep inside. I reconnected with the child in me, apologized for some choices I made. And I felt cleansed.

You may all know about the "placebo effect". It is a mind over matter effect. Doctors trick your mind to believe the medicine they produce will heal you and it does because you believe in it. So if the mind can heal your body why use medication. By meditation, we clear our minds and start following our inner guidance to stop worrying about the future, to be good, to be loving and therefore we heal ourselves step by step.

If you have never tried it, you should!