In a perfect world, the subject of infidelity wouldn’t even come up. The very thought of going behind your partner's back would be unheard of.
We’d meet our perfect man or woman and live a long happy life, safe in the knowledge that no one can break that eternal bond uniting a couple. Only in a perfect world.
As we all know, reality is somewhat different. Paranoia, unfaithfulness, lies and distrust are all common place. Thankfully it’s not all bad and honesty and integrity do still exist but there’s always that nagging doubt.
What if?
There might be signs or maybe it’s all in your mind – either way something needs to be done, some sort of closure has to happen.
Some people can switch off the doubts spinning around their head but what of the others? For any relationship to continue it has to be known.
Short of hiring a private detective, what can you do if you suspect your partner has been unfaithful?
What to watch out for if you think your partner is cheating on you
Your partner is not perfect and a certain amount of patience is needed. With this in mind, don’t go jumping into anything that can’t be reversed. If it turns out that you’re wrong, then what’s already been said can rarely be taken back.
If you have any feeling for your partner, then you owe it to him or her to be 100% before accusations are thrown.
Here are some signs to watch out for:
Regularly Deleted Phone Memory
If it happens once, then that can be explained away. If it happens five times a week, then it’s a little harder to justify. When you ask about it, your partner will either try to brush it off or go on the attack. Keep a close eye on him as regularly deleting his phone memory is a big sign that he's hiding something.
Changed Passwords
This could be on Facebook, an email account or even your partner's personal laptop. It’s not so much something to watch out for if she's always been the guarded type but if it’s a new characteristic, then really ask yourself what’s changed. What does she want to keep secret?
Personality Change
Do you find your partner distant? Have he stopped being as touchy or maybe he's finding excuses to not kiss you in public. You should know him pretty well, so use your instincts. What does your gut say? As his partner, you’ll notice a difference from what’s normal. Do some probing and see how he reacts. Really consider if he's acting suspiciously.
Excessive Guarding of Their Mobile Phone
The phone is always a big giveaway. Cheaters don’t always buy separate mobiles and hid them away, they’ll use their regular phones. The worst thing for an unfaithful partner would be to have her bit on the side call when she's too far away to answer. What if you picked it up? Keep an eye on whether she takes it to the shower or sleep with it by her hand.
New Reasons for Leaving the House
Your cheating partner will have to meet up somewhere with his secret lover. This telltale isn’t always foolproof though, especially if he's a big party animal in the first place. If, on the other hand, he's the stay-at-home type, then watch out for the cliché "working late at the office" pattern. It might be the oldest trick in the book but it still provides ample opportunity for late night rendezvous.
Fewer Invites for Events
Whereas before you might have been as thick as thieves, nowadays the office parties or night on the town invites might have dried up. Could it be that she's cheating with someone at work? She might just want you out of the way so that she can work her magic without getting caught. Don’t worry so much about the occasional time out alone, everyone needs her space sometimes.
he Phone is Always on Silent
Back to the phone again. It makes you wonder how much easier it would be to cheat if the mobile had never been invented. The phone always being on silent goes hand in hand with "Excessive Guarding of the Mobile." If it’s not obviously ringing, then it’s somewhat easier to sneak around. For a start there won’t be any difficult "who was that calling" questions. It might be an innocent coincidence but it’s still worth keeping an eye on.
Accusing You of Having No Trust
Guilt can magnify itself in a variety of ways. One of the greatest ways is accusation. The cheater is hiding something and due to bad feelings mixing with the sensation of being backed into a corner, the inevitable result is to play on your emotions. "Why don’t you trust me, are you hiding something yourself?" is a common line. If something doesn’t feel right, then don’t crumble and don't apologize. Once you do this, it will always be brought up against you and you’ll be made to feel like you’re going paranoid.
Heading Straight for the Shower
It sounds completely normal. Sometimes after a long day all you need is a nice hot shower. What isn’t normal is when your partner dodges you completely and avoids physical contact. No kissing or embracing, just a quick hello and straight into the bathroom to wash away the evidence.
Increased Attention to Their Appearance
After a while of being in a committed relationship people tend to slack off in the personal grooming department. You’re already with a partner so why bother spicing yourself up before heading out the door. Obviously, if she's always been the vain type or if there’s a special occasion warranting the improved look, this isn’t something to watch out for.
However, if a sudden change occurs, then stay alert. Once again, use your knowledge of your partner and don’t ignore any gut feeling.