A little background on my childhood

My mom has always believed that no matter what happens, how shitty your family treats you, you're still family and should stick together. Being a young and innocent child, I grew up with that drilled into my head not knowing any better.

When I was growing up, my family struggled with finances quite a lot. My dad just wanted to live his life, while my mom has some "TV drama" ideal of how a wife should be and thinks she's the best cause she sacrificed so much for the family (based on that ideal). They fought a lot, especially over money -- and I didn't get the love I needed as a child to grow as a mentally and emotionally healthy individual. I don't blame them though, physiological needs should be met first right? They were busy trying to put food on the table and battling their inner demons of wasting their youth.

Due to the lack of love during my growing years, I was insecure, scared, ready to jump at any outlet that can provide me with that love I craved. I made a lot of stupid mistakes, got burnt a lot, trusted way too much, did anything I could to get my hands on that warmth that love provides.

Whenever I visited my friends in their homes, I was hell envious of how nice and warm all their families were (or at least appeared to be). Mine on the other hand was literally a battleground, a war zone -- they fought every other day, and the only way to communicate with one another was to scream at each other.

I felt so detached from my family, I just couldn't understand them, they couldn't understand me, I felt alone, misunderstood (and amplified too cause I was a teenager). I hated them, hated that, I hated feeling this way, I hated going home, I just wanted to stay out (which I did a lot), and just return back for showers, sleep and to lose myself in the cyber world.

I didn't live in a home, I lived in a house, a dead, cold, physical house.

What challenged that opinion

I was really lucky though, met lots of nice people in the virtual world, especially during my days in MapleStory. They made me feel like I belonged somewhere, they cared for me, listened, offered me advice, helped me with my school work, loved me in a way which I could understand. They held conversations like a civil human rather than a screaming barbarian. I felt appreciated, understood, and also felt that warmth of how I've always thought a family would be like. These people felt like a family to me, more than my own family ever did.

Hence my stand is that blood is NOT thicker than water.

The lack of choice

When you meet a new person, if you can hit it off, you become friends, but if you don't, chances are you'll just move on from them. I don't think that most people keep friends that they don't get along with around for long right?

So here's the thing, what if you were born into a family but nobody can understand you? They love you in a way that you just can't comprehend. You can see it, mentally understand their concept of their love for you but you just can't feel it. Is it still love if you can't receive it?

You don't get to choose the place you are born into, and if there are so many people that you meet out there that you can't get along with 100%, is it really reasonable to think that EVERYBODY's family would get along with them?

Don't even get me started on the families that "make you" so they can make use of you. Thankfully, I've not encountered that around me but I've read so many stories out there about assholes that give birth to kids to sell them, use them for money, sex, abuse, child labour, whatever other monster reasons there are out there.

Conclusion

If you're lucky enough to be born in a family where everybody can truly understand everybody, and love and accept each other, you're really really lucky. Some others don't have such luck though, and they get "placed" into an environment which they just can't feel like they belong. You can't force someone to feel a love they just cannot understand.

Therefore, to me, family is a choice and it should be a choice. When you're exhausted and drained from the battles you fight, you should be able to come back home to somewhere you feel at ease, are loved and cared for, and you can recover at peace. These "homes" also need not be a physical place, it could just be one in your heart.