Going with the flow isn’t always easy. I have been a person who prefers to be in control of my life. Sometimes I am lazy for extended periods and my own control becomes toxic to me as I work hard to avoid everything and everyone. I have trouble working with others on projects without spearheading the operation. It makes me squirm inside to see someone else doing something less good or less efficiently than I know I can do it. But I am taking this year to be in a state of surrender to the Universe and to the actions and energies of others. I will find my flow in the flow occurring around me. I will not force, I will yield. I am not always controlling…mostly when it comes to projects or cooking in the kitchen, otherwise I am already pretty laid back. At any rate, it is my goal this year to not “grab the bull by its horns”, I will make myself limp and ride the bull wherever it wishes to wander. I have no idea where I will go this year and that’s ok and cool. This is a very different goal from the one I made back in 2016 which was "do not take no for an answer". I succeeded, and even shared the philosophy to others who now don't take no for an answer.
Update reports I made since my last post:
Monday. 8:29pm
My dog’s ultrasound results came in about an hour ago. They are inconclusive. The cause of blood in his urinary tract remains unknown. The next test they want to do on him is super expensive, it is a cystoscopy. Also, his paw is really swollen with infection. Someone suggested to soak it in Epsom salts so I started doing that yesterday. It seems to have caused a couple massive blisters to form next to the cyst on top of his already swollen paw. Tomorrow I will pick up a new prescription for antibiotics and start him on those. After the infection is out, he will have the lump surgically removed. Then it will be some amount of weeks of bandaging an open sore post-op. I had the hope of leaving the town where I am staying within a week, but now I am looking at more time here. I don’t intend to leave my dog behind. Never. He is my copilot and best friend. He doesn’t adore having his picture taken.
Here he is doing his best.
Tuesday. 4:29am
Was woken an hour ago by the “tsunami warning system”, sirens and such due to an Earthquake in Alaska measuring in from the South East corner at 7.9. Just now heard the “all clear” announcement. Back to bed.
Tuesday. 11:27am
I suppose I really could have went with the flow last night had the tsunami actually happened. Where I live right now I am exactly on the border of the tsunami flood zone. My house is on the safe side of the border, the neighbor is in the disaster zone. If a really massive tsunami came in, I would be flirting with the edge of the world. Someone hit a wrong button I guess and reported a chemical spill as well. I tried really hard to sleep through the emergency broadcast, but my dad came in and woke me up sort of shocked that I wasn’t up and responding to the potential hazard. Life on the Rim of Fire.
My dog’s swollen paw ruptured this morning. It looks pretty bad and he is in low spirits. My poor fella. He is very good about it all despite the pain he is in. He lets me wash it and bandage it. I popped in at the vet to get his prescription for antibiotics. I should be able to go pick that up soon.
It's grey and raining out.
I wonder what the day will bring. I am thinking about baking some pretzels.