I don’t consider myself a feminist ... because I don’t want to be related to those radical people that put statues of Catholic saints into their orifices or who use menstrual blood as a lipstick to protest. Feminists are people who have nothing concrete to fight for. Ohh and this whole story about Manspreading ... don’t you think the world has more serious problems to debate? I've always had the same chances as anyone else, so why don’t we use the word equity or equality instead of feminism? I consider myself a woman who had the same chances of studying as my three brothers.
I also consider myself a person who has the same chances and salaries as my male co-workers and therefore we don’t need to have these kind of discussions ... well ... maybe we could talk about the issues of Muslim women, because they do live in a an extremely sexist society. But us? Well, I'd like to know if anyone shares these ideas and tell you that I used to say the same thing, until today. But one thing is certain, folks: we do need to talk about Feminism. Unfortunately. I wish we didn’t need to do it anymore.
The fact is that often something has to happen to you, so you understand what others are going through. And today I was the “lucky” one. This afternoon a guy who was sitting next to me on the bus dared to put his hands on my thighs. He didn’t try to strike up a conversation with me, he didn’t try to look me in the eyes, he didn’t give me a smile, he just slipped his hand between my legs.
I always thought that if one day this happened to me, I would call the police or I would make a scandal and everyone on the bus would support me. Well, that didn’t happen. I got out of the bus and arrived at my destination, almost apathetic ... only then I started to imagine countless ways of revenge in my mind: why didn’t I pour the soup that I had with me on his head? Why didn’t I spit in his face? Why didn’t I punch him down there?! Now it's over. I don’t know who he was or where he was going, and the life continues. Was he embarrassed by me pushing him or the little scream I made? Who knows ... maybe I was only one of many. The people on the bus? Well, they probably thought, what does this tourist want? Why doesn’t she just go to the beach and let us quietly go back to our homes after a hard day's work? Pff, another nutjob! Glad she got off the bus.
I used to think that if there is anyone that could possibly talk about feminism, it would be all those women who are forced to wear burqas, who can’t study and can’t drive. But me? I have everything, I live in a democratic society, secular, egalitarian, I am privileged. Feminist speech is more of a college trend, they don’t really have much contact with the real world, I used to say. Well, the point is I have travelled a lot and I have never been through this situation before! Hmm ... if you don’t consider that boss who always said inappropriate things or that colleague that tried to forcefully kiss me, ah and that time when ... never mind. The point is that they have never tried to touch me and that is what hurt me the most.
Do you know why we have to talk about feminism? Because equality is a different thing. While some men think they have the right to touch the thighs of a woman sitting next to them on the bus, who have the right to insist on having sex with their partners even if they don’t want to, they have the right to have a relationship with 12-year-old girls (them wanting it or not), or touching little 5-year-olds. Yes! We have to talk about feminism. As long as older men are marrying 15-year-old girls. As long as there are girls forbidden to study because they have to take care of the house. As long as there are men choosing the clothes for their wives... we cannot only speak about equality, but also about feminism. About respect. About having the freedom to catch a bus without being touched.
November, 2017, San Andrés Island.
