For almost a decade after her brother was killed on 9/11, Jeanmarie Hargrave avoided the World Trade Center. Being there was "too emotional, too sad."
But six years ago, she tried a different way of grieving. She joined a group of about 800 people touched personally by the attacks who now lead tours of the 9/11 Memorial plaza.
The guides, who include survivors, rescue and recovery workers and people who lost a loved one, give visitors the soul-stirring experiencing of walking through the rebuilt complex with people who came face to face with the attack and its aftermath.
And in return, guides like Jeanmarie get an emotional outlet. "At first I had a very difficult time telling my story, but then I realized that these people can cry with you and laugh with you. That made it so much easier," said Jeanmarie, whose brother, T.J., worked for Cantor Fitzgerald in the World Trade Center's North Tower.
The daily, 75 minute tours are organized by the 9/11 Tribute Center, a nonprofit created by the September 11th Families Association, one of the groups representing people who lost a relative in the attacks.
After leaving the Tribute Center's gallery, which contains artifacts, images and oral histories of the attacks, the tour groups visit a memorial to lost firefighters on the side of a Liberty Street firehouse.
Two guides then lead each group through the World Trade Center's tree-filled plaza to the two memorial pools, explaining — often in deeply personal detail — what happened on the day of the attacks.
"We opened the office door, and the hall was a wall of black smoke," guide Leokadia Glogowski told a group of two dozen visitors on one recent tour. She worked as an engineer on the 82nd floor of the North Tower, and described how she prayed before plunging into the smoke and crawling to the stairwell.
Rose Starosta, a tourist from Saskatchewan, said hearing Leokadia's first-person account made her visit to the site far more moving and intimate. "It doesn't really hit you until somebody says she was afraid, but determined to get down," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "When you hear someone's story, you really feel it inside."