A few years back … I had to deal with cancer … and chemo … and it was A very difficult experience….. around the same time … a family member of mine became very very ill …. And progressively got worse …. Over the years I have hoped and prayed for God not to take him away from us ….. as more and more time goes by … I see that he is suffering …. He has gotten to the point that he is now bed ridden …. And has dementia…. He can’t be left alone … and rarely knows what’s going on ….. I feel now that maybe we are all being selfish … wanting God to keep him here for our own selfish reasons . 🤷🏻♀️. I’m going to be so sad and upset when he passes … but the more time that passes … I realize although he is alive…. He is not living … I hope that for myself …. I live healthy enough that my children can rely on me until they get a little older … they are still young and need me in their lives …. I was telling a friend the other day …. I do not think their father would “step up” … if something happened to me … and be all the things they need …. So I hope and pray … I’m there for my kids for as long as they need me … or at the very least, until they are all situated.