A lot of stuff seems to be coming together for me lately. In all sorts of aspects, but overall just life seems to be more and more bending to my will. I'm having trouble finding words to explain what I mean...
Life is seeming to get easier, the challenges are getting bigger but easier to overcome.
When I decide to make something happen it keeps seeming to happen faster and faster and be easier and easier.
It feels like a muscle is getting stronger and stronger.
As that happens it feels like I'm "making it". I'm doing the things that I've said I would do. And the bigger things that I haven't yet done feel much closer than they ever have. They don't even feel "close" as in the probability of me being able to do them is going up. Rather they feel "close" as in just a matter of time still, but like that time is getting short.
I think that's nonsense though.
I don't think there is any such thing as "making it".
I've accomplished a bunch of the things I included in "making it" and there's still a whole ton of things included in "making it" that I'm still far away from. It's not like I'll ever have that list all checked off. Long before I get to the end of my current one I'll be adding all sorts of new stuff to it. And it's not like there's some "made it" line to cross.
So it's just a spectrum, how much have I "made it"?
And even that, what does it mean? It's not like I couldn't lose it at any time, I can't call myself the winner yet if there's still a possibility that I lose.
The more I think about "making it" the less sense it makes.
I think the only real way to "make it" is to be present in the moment. By that, I mean that being present in the moment is "making it". No matter how many goals I have or haven't accomplished I'm "making it" when I'm present in the moment and I'm not "making it" when I'm not present in the moment. "Making it" isn't a place to get to and then call it good, rather "making it" is a state of being.
I think I've had it fucked up because the result of "making it" as I've defined it is very often the material rewards that I used to include in the definition of "making it". Not just material rewards either, my old definition of "making it" included a mental state. Being happy or satisfied or myself. But in my not-well-thought-out definition of "making it" this mental state was something that would be achieved, it would come with financial freedom and being an influencer and I would just be there.
The real "making it" is being in the moment, really focusing, and doing what I'm doing well. The more time I spend being present in the moment the more all these other things show up that I used to consider signs that I'd "made it". I suspect that the more time I spend being present in the moment the more I'll attract these things and the more time I spend trying to "make it" the more I'll repel these things.
