Many of us get confuse when it comes to explaining what actually self confidence is . Many of the people they will tell you their own definitions of it but actually many of them are wrong . Self confidence is not about arrogance or thinking that i am better than others and acting like king of the hill or treating others with out kindness and empathy more over it's not about not having the fear of getting failed or self doubt ..
So what actually is self confidence ?
Actually there is no specific definition of self confidence but i will tell you what it is according to my knowledge . Self confidence is the ability to get out of your comfort zone; the ability to cope with the challenges of everyday life.. Knowledge about how to do something and the certainty that you can actually use that skill in a practical situation. The ability to stand up for your own rights; the ability to defend yourself verbally and maybe physically. In short it is the ability to being your own self .Self confidence is about feeling good about yourself being proud of what how you are and what you have it's about having a healthy relationship with your self , treating yourself as your own best friend in short it's about treating yourself as a valuable person , having the ability to forgive yourself for your mistakes and accept your flaws and imperfections (and being aware that everyone has flaws and imperfections).
So where does the lack of self-confidence come from? The human mind is a creation that loves safety. It does everything possible just to avoid any feeling of danger and to keep the status quo. Unfortunately, in most cases it does much more than needed. To shield us from any unfavorable turn of events, it launches various unnecessary security measures in many life situations.
I’m talking about mechanisms like fear, crushing stress, difficulties trusting other people, negative images in your head, paralyzing and negative self-talk. That’s why some people don’t know what to say when they are trying to make new friends. Others feel paralyzing stress in their bodies and feel their throats clenching just when they are about to give a public speech to a huge audience. Or when they are studying for exams, they start imagining what will happen if they fail. And anytime they are about to undertake a challenge, their internal voice tells them all the excuses one could possibly imagine.
Take a moment to think how your lack of self-confidence shows. Is it that you “don’t have” the self-confidence to even start something? Or is it perhaps just that in a given situation, you start thinking about black scenarios, you start timid-voiced self-talks, you come up with hundreds of excuses, you lie to yourself and focus all your mind power on what could possibly go wrong?
Properly developed emotional intelligence is a very important matter here. It’s like good oil to your internal engine. You can have a brand new Lamborghini, but without oil, the expensive engine will get wrecked in no time. One good way to remove these internal obstacles, which are analogous to a handbrake that’s still engaged while you’re driving the Lamborghini, is to change your internal dialogues and make friends with your internal critic. Hope you like the article support me by upvoting and follow me for more articles :)