Living
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One of my intentions for 2017 (as shared here) was to live as light as possible. My most fulfilling experience this year has been that of simplifying and decluttering my personal space at home. (I hinted about this few months ago) Making space and having less has made me appreciate life more, and it has helped me pay attention to the things that are important.
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I used to be a hoarder, sort of. I also used to buy things without thought and reflection. I ended up with many material items that I had no use/need for. I held onto the ones no longer useful for me. I justified purchasing/keeping those things just to feel good about them but in actual truth they were clogging my personal space at home and indirectly my life. I never paid attention to how my physical space affected my emotional, physical, mental and spiritual health until this year.
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The decision to declutter my space while having a very honest conversation about the things I owned at home was a painful one, truthfully. There were so many things to hold onto and the feeling of not having enough or repeating one dress too many times also popped up once in a while. I went through my wardrobe, boxes and decided to let go of many. (now I have just one medium box) I repeated same with other personal items until I was left with so much space and just myself to look at. I felt free, literally free. It was like a burden was lifted from me.
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On Christmas day this year, we had a fire outbreak in one of the rooms at home. Remember I was sleeping right? Thankfully, my brother rushed in as he sighted a thick smoke from outside the house and while screaming for everyone to wake up, especially me, he had successfully tamed the fire to just that room. My room was just next to it. My parents were alarmed and couldn't explain what would have happened if no one was home during the occurrence and it affected my room and the entire house (seeing as the smoke was already everywhere). How I slept through this, I still don't know. My mom is still angry with me this is a different testimony.
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When everywhere and every one was calm, I sat on my bed and looked around my room. I was scared but upon deeper reflection, I realized that if the fire had torched my room, I wouldn't have cried for the things gone because basically, I am now living so light and like a nomad, ready to move at the rising of the sun without a deep attachment to any possession of mine.
Asides my certificates and my big shelf of books (passing this one to the people coming after me), nothing else would have mattered. I now know that I can survive with a shoe, a dress, my glasses and my hands. This may seem crazy but I am gaining something I always wanted and that is peace and freedom from this crazy world. It's a struggle some days but I love this peace. I live life like I can be gone any moment and I can be gone this very moment. I am trying to invest more in experiences and the lives of others above possessions.
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- When I see something I want to buy, I ask myself, "do I really need this" or "am I buying this because I think I should have it" or "am I falling a victim to the tune of capitalism" or "what's the worst that will happen if I don't have this". I still buy things regularly but I am more deliberate and intentional about my need for the things I get into my space.
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- I really understood this year that I live in a time where if I am not careful, I will end up with things I don't need just because I want to keep up with the times or just feel connected and not left behind. Everything is in a crazy rush. Some days I can't keep up. The world is changing every second. I get one thing today, tomorrow it becomes obsolete and then I begin to have anxiety about the new one I can't afford or get. It's a trap, one that affects us psychologically and emotionally, even spiritually. Being conscious of my limited options as a consumer in a fast paced world has helped me immensely. I now pay attention to the things I consume in every form.
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- There is something magical/blissful in coming home to a space you totally love and can breathe and especially rest. I call my room my sanctum/temple. The rest of the world can be upside down and flooded with chaos but I strive daily to make my room my haven, free, clean and light. It's spiritual. I honestly now look forward to spending time in my room. I think clearly. I rest well. I'm not distracted as before. I am adding life plants, scented candles and flowers and it just feels really spiritual. Like my mom will say, "your small heaven"
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I am sharing this because I have experienced and enjoyed tremendous peace, clarity and joy from clearing my space. I have no destination with this. I am still figuring out many things and fighting with my desires and wants day in, day out even caving in to my own pressure sometimes. This is a work in progress. I am grateful to have a shoe, a dress and a shelter above my head and an assurance of a meal daily. Anything more is extra. This realization keeps me grounded. It keeps me contented.
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If you can, please tidy and clear out your space before the year ends. It can be a physical or a virtual space or your table or locker or corner, anywhere. You don't need to totally empty your room but make space for the things that really matter. Give out, donate certain things and even sell or swap with others things you don't need. Guard your heart from falling prey to unintentional consumption. It's financially and emotionally draining and I'm sharing this from my heart. Be mindful about your physical space. Don't be scared to recycle, repurpose and reuse things. It's good for the environment too You can share with me your thoughts too.
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This AMAZING flower is from my heart to you