From Facebook to Reddit to Twitter to even Steemit, the internet can seem like a vast sea of negativity that we all have to navigate on our way to the truth. For some of us, taking breaks or giving up social media entirely seems like the only option, but I’m here to offer a third way that has been very successful for me. Granted, I do take short breaks from social media, and I’ll admit that I’ve been favoring Steemit over all others (and that’s for its own reasons: I hate the censorship of corporate social media companies!), I am still involved in the online community as much as I can, and I have even figured out a way to avoid the drain from all the drama and negativity. Hopefully you can use what I’ve learned to reduce it in your own life online.
Develop Your Sense of Humor
Shake off the seriousness when it’s not appropriate. If you’re a person of good moral foundations, you innately KNOW when to be serious and when to have humor. First rule that I abide by is to LIGHTEN UP and not take the remarks of others about myself and/or friends, family, etc seriously! Negativity comes from negativity. YOU HAVE THE CHOICE TO NOT LET IT EAT YOU, IT DOES NO GOOD AT ALL.
Be Mysterious and Unpredictable
One method I’ve found in evading negativity from other people online is to not reveal too much about myself, and to be completely unpredictable in my responses. There is a subtle art to this, and perhaps I will highlight this in a later article. If someone doesn’t know much about me at all, they are not only put off guard, but they don’t have any ammunition to come in for the death blow should they get angry with me for whatever reason. I only let those “worthy” into my inner space of thought and feeling, that is, anyone who will treat me with the same care and compassion that I have in spades.
Don’t be fooled by me being mysterious and stand-offish, I’m a genuinely caring person. This “armor” is necessary though!
Acceptance
This world is a mess, and it will likely always be a mess. Every human alive suffers in some way, even if they aren’t aware of that suffering (which often manifests in their own negativity). There is compassion to be found in this truth, and it opens the door to greater understanding of the human condition. It can also be a shield against all the negativity, for you know that people’s often mean behavior comes from the fact that they are damaged in some way. It helps to keep this in mind when interacting with others. They will sense it, too, on a level, and their temperament will often change. This takes a lot of patience to develop, but don’t ever be too hard on yourself for “failing”.
No matter where you kick the ball in life, it’s always a goal if you try with all your sincerity.
Empathy
Related to acceptance, we put ourselves in the shoes of the other person and try to understand where the negativity is coming from. But be careful as this can lead to co-dependency, where your “wounded healer” kicks in and damages itself in order to “heal” the other person. The art comes from recognizing who is willing to be healed; that is, who is sincerely asking for your help and who is just being an ass. Again, I might have to expound upon this in some later writing since the skill set is nuanced and takes a while to develop.
Finding the Common Ground
Try to find the middle between your opinion or truth and the other person’s opinion or truth. So often, the negativity in others is a desperate plea to find a solution to their inner turmoil. And if you develop good listening skills (or reading skills if you’re using text), you’ll be able to discern what I call the “hidden request” that so often people are begging for, but they hopelessly don’t know the kind way to ask.
Charisma on Command highlights this beautifully in a recent video. I haven't yet figured out how to embed d.tube videos here, so a link will have to suffice!
I suggest you give him an upvote and follow, because his videos are VERY useful and relevant to human interaction. Plus, he’s a great guy all around and deserves some Steemit Love.
Watch Yourself
Often the negativity we feel from others is linked to a hidden desire of our own. Find and root out all the desires that do not serve you. There’s usually a hidden attachment to results lingering within our frustrations. An expectation. Release this, and you’ll often find your emotional stress is lightened. Again, this is a habit to develop over time, and don’t be disappointed with yourself if you “slip up”. Life is truly for learning, and part of learning is failure. Remember that, always!
A Higher Truth
Freedom from negativity starts and ends with YOU. You change yourself to incorporate YOU into the “system”, not the other way around. Otherwise you evoke the Law of Opposites. The Law of Opposites is a function of the Universe, of its subtle energies of which our emotions and thoughts have sway. In the Law it is stated that whatever you vehemently REJECT with passion and fury, you will only get more of! It seems backwards, but it’s true! That mental and emotional energy goes SOMEWHERE. It goes out to the universe! You are telling all of creation “MORE PLEASE” when you put up such fierce resistance to what you DO NOT WANT.
Instead, contemplate this simple line by Alan Watts:
“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.”
Do Not Let Yourself Be Abused
Finally, it’s very important to know when to back away, to take a break. For despite all our best efforts we are human and prone to mistakes and vulnerabilities. If you’re continually unbalanced by negative people online, and you feel any pain or pressure in your throat or chest, it’s time to WALK AWAY… literally. Get out for a walk in nature if you can. Or do some chores around the house that take some physical effort. It will help ‘discharge’ the negativity you’re soaking up from others. Take the walk, do the physical activity, and after a few hours come back to social media.
Good luck!
The truth does not abide by my wishes. The #truth simply is.
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