We get one chance. Only one. What are you going to do to make it matter?
As some people may know the last 18 months-2 years has been difficult for me. I've struggled with mental health issues and the breakdown of what my life was. Where i lived changed, my friends changed, my career changed, my partner changed. Everything at once piled onto my already fragile mental state became too much. It almost killed me.
But I realised over the last week or so that im wasting this life by being like this. Ive felt so hopeless for so long but It clicked, I can do whatever I want. I can lay in bed and let other peoples actions dictate how i live, or I can live how I deserve to. No, deserve is the wrong word, none of us deserve anything more than the chance we're given. We deserve whatever we put into it.
But what had I been putting into it? going to work with a shit attitude and then coming home and sleeping away my life. How could I expect to be happy like that? Only with pure naivety could I of believed my life would get better while I did nothing but feel sorry for myself.
I know you can't stop the shit thoughts, the horrible feelings, the deep sadness and loneliness. But is laying in bed getting rid of them? is moping at home helping? I felt shit whether I was home or out, and no matter how hard it was I forced myself out. To meet people, to do random activities, to start going to work properly.
And you know what? I'm still fucking sad, I'm still fucking lonely, and I'm still depressed as fuck. But you know what else I am, I'm fucking trying, I'm fucking moving forward. It will probably take a long time to fix, but laying at home wasn't helping.
What is it you want to do with your life? I don't mean a job, but what do you want to contribute to the world? What is your purpose here? I don't think we have a purpose, we are merely another insignificant piece in the universe, but at the same time you're the most important thing on earth, because you're you. Nothing in the world will mean as much as the life you lead, to you.
Don't hide away and waste your life. It is the greatest thing you will ever do....