I didn’t drink the Kool-Aid. however I did reflect on an assignment we were given “think about the worst thing that is ever happened to you, and why this is actually the best thing that ever happened to you”.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me is becoming gravely disabled in both wrists three years ago. (This isn’t my first rodeo becoming disabled) losing all ability you to function without pain. I had just gotten close to the end of completing 90 units of doctoral coursework after Many grueling years. I was faced with a roadblock and unable to write a dissertation. I eventually “quit” the program. I ended early. I was gracefully discharged. I was supposed to be a doctor. This all came to a grinding halt. slammed doors on my spirit turned to ashes. defeated, disheartened , and deeply dissatisfied. did I mention devastatingly endless amounts of DEBT?
This is the best thing that has ever happened to me because I would be stuck in an office right now. I would be in a square, a block, a gridlock. I would have rushed into a career at 29 years old without taking the time to travel, get lost, and reinvent myself. i can say yes now to opportunities that would have been foreclosed on because of my career. I can say yes to joining a cult for the winter on the East Coast. I can say yes to traveling which I never seemed to have enough money or enough time to do. I can say no to what I “should” be doing with my life and surrender to the sound of yes.
Bt took losing it all to realize I don’t Even want this dream anyhow. “Obviously you were not supposed to be a doctor or else you would have been one.” I am more than my career. What do you do? I dream about snowboarding. I simply exist. transcending the body. I can listen to where my heart strings are being pulled. It is a soft hum. snowfall on a frozen leaf. silent beaming energy. I am free And I am truly content in this moment.
