Let's examine some background ideas and thoughts about commitment. Commitment is defined as the state of having obligated or pledged oneself, also to carry into deliberate action. I am sure that in your own experience, you have noticed that this word has an awesome external and internal impact. That is the reason you see people at weddings cry -- even grown men. Just being in the presence of a spoken commitment being can bring many people to tears. Moreover, I am sure that you have noticed your own visceral reaction in the form of sweaty palms and general nervousness, when you made a firm commitment to something or someone.
The Characteristics of Commitment
Popular opinion about commitment causes many people to focus on only one aspect of commitment -- the commitment involved in a relationship. If we delve deeper into the notion of commitment, we see that there is much more to the subject of commitment. Even in the area of relationships, there is more than one commitment. In a powerful relationship, there is actually a list of commitments. The lack of knowledge about this basic fact may be the cause of so many unsuccessful relationships, divorces, etc.
People seldom get beyond the basic commitment of "I am committed to you." Seldom are all the other implied commitments examined in detail and formally committed to. Often in relationships, people are reluctant to say, "I am committed to your well-being," or "I am committed to your sexual fulfillment," or "I am committed to your spiritual growth” etc. Not many people are willing to share their complete list of commitments with their partners.
Many of us simply struggle along in a hit or miss fashion. We are unclear about what we are committed to in the relationship or anywhere else in our lives. According to Werner Erhard, the founder of the est training, "We are never not committed. The question is, what are we committed to?" I repeat, what are you committed to?
The Question for Each of Us
That is indeed a very pregnant question. The fact is that we are committed to a vast number of things, e.g., having a job, getting to work on time, driving a certain kind of car, etc. Some of us are even committed to being sick.
We are unconsciously committed to many circumstances or ways of being in the world. We often unconsciously commit to how we be, what we do, and what we have in our lives. The truth of the matter is that we are committed to be, do, or have a very large list of things or circumstances. The problem is we have forgotten about those commitments or the commitments were made so transparently or informally, that we are totally unaware of the moment in which that particular commitment was made. Many times when we fulfill the commitments we have made, we are no longer in harmony with our original commitments. Then we accuse life or the Universe of trying to do us in by not giving us what we want and/or need.
So there you have it. An entire set of ideas that explain the act of committing is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe !!
