When I was growing up, I always felt that being an introvert was something to be ashamed of; that introversion was nerdy and uncool. All the popular people were extroverts and that simply wasn’t me. Therefore, I stood no chance of being cool. Instantly disqualified.
Thankfully, as an adult, I have since realised that very few people can be ‘out there’ all the time and that we all need time and space to recharge and come back to ourselves. I am no longer an oddity because I need time away from people and I find constant socialising somewhat draining. The internet and social media have made introversion totally normal- we are no longer ashamed to admit that sometimes we’d actually prefer to stay in bed, thank you very much, and that all our promises to meet up or go out were blatant lies for the sake of not being a killjoy.
The rise of the introvert has got me thinking over the last few months. Working a full-time job, side projects, maintaining a happy, healthy marriage and household along with generally being a functional adult is hard work. As a person who analyses everything and tends to be a deep thinker, I make it even harder on myself. We don’t even have kids, so I sincerely take my hat off and bow deeply before those that do have kids, because that is next level responsibility that I can’t comprehend. But with the work that comes with being an adult, the window for Operation Recharge is pretty small in a 24 hour day and 7 day week. When it feels like everyone and everything is sucking the life out of you and the walls are closing in, something has to be done.
So how does an introvert maximise the few minutes or the spare half hour that we can grab here and there? I used to think that I needed time alone, with no expectations from anyone else, where I had no obligations and could do what I wanted to do for a change. Time to do the things that I like to do without fear of feeling selfish or indulgent, or that I am wasting precious time. Grand plans for me time all fade into the distance as I lie on the couch watching make up tutorials on youtube, falling asleep and then getting up to do washing. None of which leave me feel any better or re-energised in the slightest.
Of course, we all need alone time in our lives, where we have only ourselves to consider for a period of time. Husbands, wives, partners, parents, friends- all these things mean serving others in some way and sometimes we need just a few minutes to serve only ourselves. But alone time was just not working for me when it comes to putting back what life takes out. Enter: meditation. For me, more like meh-ditation.
I put in a lot of effort learning to meditate. I thought so deeply about thinking of nothing. I nailed it at one point when I was finally able to sit quietly and allow my thoughts to simply drift in and out, passing through my mind like clouds in the sky. Not staying for very long but not chasing them away either. Just observing. This helped to calm my mind in some way but was still not what I needed to recharge. It was almost like the act of meditation was another chore that required work and attention every day.
What works for some may not work for others and I’m sure we all have different ways of powering up. While pondering this concept one day, I realised that all the times that had left me feeling strong but calm, awake and at peace had one thing in common: space. As in expanse. Openness. I realised that admiring the sky, or mountain vistas and ocean views when I’m lucky enough to be there, takes the focus off my immediate surroundings and problems. All the things that I’ve been trying to wrestle into place fade away. I remember what is truly important and where everything lies in the grand scheme of things. Reconnecting with nature means being absolutely present in the here and now. It also allows me time for reflection, without any demands, even if its just for a few minutes. Time to process and play catch up with what’s been going on around me lately.
Now that I know that this works for me, I try my best to take a few minutes each evening to come back to myself at the end of the day.
Before bed, stand outside or look out your window and try to spot the Southern Cross (or Big Dipper) in the night sky. Watch the clouds change shape or colour. Watch the sun rise or set. If you’re lucky enough to have a view of sea or mountains, just admire them. Let your brain do it’s own thing for as long as you have. Hopefully this works for you like it does for me.
As an introvert, how do you recharge? Please share your comments and experiences!