Ill be completely honest, im still a bit disturbed and shocked, so if it feels like im rambling I apologize. I figured the best way to help myself feel a bit better was to write about it, so here I go. Someone I went to high school with and was actually quite fond of overdosed this morning. He was a nice kid, but as far back as I could remember had a problem with drugs and alcohol. In high school, although I never was into drugs, I hung out around kids who were, mostly because they didnt have high expectations for themselves or their future. It was a nice change from the average know it all who was constantly bragging about their GPAs or achievements.
High school was also a rough time for me with anxiety and my grades suffering because of it. I guess I liked hanging around with the kids who everyone considered fuck ups because I felt like a fuck up myself. I never had a problem with these kids because while many times they were drunk in class or were getting high during the day, they were generally nice people. In the end regardless of status, as long as you are a nice person im usually willing to be your friend. So for four years, they were the types of people I liked to talk with, to sit with at lunch and overall they were pretty accepting.
Admittedly my active friend group from high school is very small so many of the people that I spend time with, I havent seen in a while. My brother though has been friends with a few of them through mutual friends of his so I would get updates on how some of them were doing. The one who passed away was having a hard time. He was into hard drugs and I knew he was having a rough time of it. He was actively trying and failing to quit, but ultimately was unsuccessful. I don't feel guilty because I think I could have done something, but a small part of me feels guilty because I hadnt seen him in a while.
There is a problem with harder drugs in our country, specifically addictions to them being escalated through prescription drugs. Theres an opioid crisis going on, but today I dont really feel like talking much about it in detail. Whether or not you consider addiction an illness or just something people have, it affected him and he wasnt able to move forward. Ultimately he lost his life fighting the battle. I wish there was something that could break the spell that these drugs have on people like him, but mostly sheer willpower is the only thing that works.
To them the need to use is as strong as the need to eat when youve gone all day without food. Its such a human impulse that just wants to make you feel happy and incredibly hard to fight. You can see the pain in these peoples lives. They dont want to be addicted, they want to be free of a drug that has a hold on them. They know it will eventually cost them their lives if they dont stop and every day is an uphill battle. Theres not much that can be done for my friend now, but theres still time for others. I dont know the answer to this problem, im as in the dark as anyone else. I can only hope that my friend is in pain no longer. Maybe well meet again.
-Calaber24p