Depression Seems to be more and more common as we advance in to the future.
Why? Well, I can't really say, honestly. It could be that were not evolved to live the way we do, sequestered into a million tiny wooden squares, navigating endless crowds of strangers, only to spend 50% of our waking hours toiling away in mindless monotony.
Or maybe its because were smarter now and we understand the darkness inherent in life.
Regardless being able to function with the all too comfortable depression and malaise looming over us is an important skill, and hopefully if I share what I've learned I can help someone feel a little bit better through rough times.
I was diagnosed with depressive tendencies at a young age, and as I grew older and went through puberty the feelings only increased with my emotional complexity. As I came into adulthood, on my eighteenth birthday in fact. I was diagnosed with hodgkins lymphoma and it had already spread into my bone marrow. Over the next eighteen months of weekly chemotherapy I came to understand what depression truly was. For a while my doctors and I did not have much hope for my survival but thankfully I eventually pulled through.
Suicide was and continues to be a potential release switch forever within my grasp but beyond my moral ability to justify.
Over those eighteen months and the handful of years to follow I spent a lot of time on self reflection, touring various mental health facilities (the chemotherapy had uncovered another mental condition related to the one causing my depression, although theres no place in this post to discuss it. Perhaps it will come up in a future one.) Ive spent a lot of time talking to people of many walks of life and learned what I could to deal with the unrelenting pressure of sadness that accompanied me through my life.
Foremost and most importantly social contact was a huge catalyst to my leading a reasonably happy and productive lifestyle. Its easy when youre depressed to get a skewed view of yourself and to estimate the value of yourself to be less than human.
Feeling worthless is its own punishment but it still comes with a menagerie of social dysfunctions and that, coupled with the already damaged confidence it brings leads depressed people to tend towards isolation.
Humans though, are social animals and our psychology is tuned and nurtured by our interactions with others. Social interactions provides a mirror for us to view ourselves through. lack that, and couple it with a perpetual downspiral of self worth and you've got yourself a self perpetuating cycle that can be hard to come out of. Especially since over time we lose the social skills we need to have the meaningful interactions that characterize us.
Get out of bed! I know how it feels to witness a beautiful dream dissolve away to an upsetting reality. To have all your memories come crashing back at once and wanting nothing more than to go back to how it was moments ago when you didn't have to live your life. But, although it might be comfortable and it might temporarily make you feel better, you wind up feeling worse once you do finally get up. Grogginess is an unhappy state at the best of times but it is so much worse when it compounds your already stressed and tired mind with its own set of symptoms. Getting up when you wake up not only avoids piling onto a bad situation but it helps your brain chemistry mediate itself to a more alert state. Additionally it makes you feel accomplished and any boost to your confidence is worth 10x as much when youre depressed.
Clean your living space. Being unmotivated is a huge hurtle, it makes doing anything, even simple life tasks a challenge. Keeping your space clean has two major positive effects. One being that when you have room to work, and less mess to deal with whenever you want to do anything youre more able to find the resolve and motivation to complete those tasks because they don't come with the extra work of cleaning up the area you need. The other being that it allows you to have more peaceful space to exist in. Anyone, even people who aren't naturally depressive find living in a messy, unkempt space saddening.plus its something that takes little effort and comes with a sense of accomplishment.
Eat well. If you're anything like me, the most buttery fatty delicious hamburger can be like a shining beacon of hope and happiness in an otherwise gray world. Eating like that every now and then isn't even a bad thing. But when you're sad its easy to just cram in whatever's around because vegetables don't keep well and cooking is a lot of work. However getting good mix of vitimins and nutrients is essential for the health of our minds and feeling alert and healthy goes a long way towards combating depression. Perhaps you'll even begin to reach a healthier weight if youre not at one already and that comes with another huge boost in confidence.
Exercise. I know, it sucks. But its more important than just being physically healthy. I have met many people who can only avoid depression through regular exercise. Of course theres the bonus of being physically fit but it also comes with a rush of endorphins that help balance our brain chemistry and additionally allows us to sweat out some nasty things that have potentially been building up inside of us. Plus, you know, accomplishments!
Stay busy. For some of us the things that depress us most are the thoughts that rattle around in our heads. In cases like these its important to occupy our minds. Give yourself an outlet for the anxiety that builds up. Not only does this help you to mediate your mental state but it can help you to build up a skill or complete some tasks that have been piling up on you.
Meditate. This one is really the only controversial tip on my list. But you have to understand, I don't mean meditate on god, or try and reach enlightenment or even to follow any specific method of meditation. All I mean is to allot yourself a few minutes each day to sit quietly and breathe. To let your mind wander and to mull over the things that are bothering you. This helps us to work out some issues that we haven't been able to mentally parse out, and gives us a chance to logically examine our reactions and thoughts. Its a huge help to maintaining a level of emotional stability and self awareness that a lot of people, even happy people, don't have.
Study some philosophy. I'm not saying to become an academic or participate in debates, but there have been people trying to understand the structure of consciousness, thought, emotions, and what it really means to be human for thousands of years. This practice helps you to compare yourself in a semi objective way to other people who have struggled. It also helps us organize our minds and teaches us healthy ways to think about the world, and life, and morality.
Really that's all I can come up with at the moment, and I hope that if you're reading this and struggling with depression you take at least some of my advice, even if you don't think it will work it won't hurt to try. Putting effort into your existence is the only cure for depression. Staying caught in its comfortable embrace won't do anything but make you wait a little longer to feel better again. Suicide is never a good thing, and in my opinion any experience is better than none at all. The impact it would have on your friends and family is devastating and committing such an act on them is unjustifiable.
I hope you feel better soon!