This is my daughter's eye. Through this lens of hers, she sees me as beautiful even without make-up.
At 38 I have been conditioned for most of my life to believe I need primer, foundation, mascara, lipstick and more to be beautiful! I certainly "like myself more" when I am "made-up". Probably as a result of companies like L'Oreal in glossy air-brushed advertising, telling me for years - I must buy their products because I'm "worth it".
The truth is we are all worth it.
Max Factor (Maksymilian Faktorowicz, 1877–1938) created a really scary-looking device called the Beauty Micrometer to help identify to areas of the face that could be reduced or enhanced by make-up. His formula also "proves" people like, Angelina Jolie have an almost perfectly mathematically, symmetrical face.
He and others are not wrong - by design, our eyes really DO love symmetry. BUT. . .
External beauty is appealing however no amount of photoshop can improve an ugly personality!
I love people who are beautiful on the inside!
As Chloe's Mom, I'm doing all I can to watch how I speak about my face and body because I know the messages she hears from me carry serious weight while she is still so young!
Instead of telling her she is beautiful, I tell her she is smart, or funny, or kind. In quiet time, we also talk about the messages we send ourselves.
Negative self talk is something I struggle with personally. When I lose something or make a time-wasting error, I'll often remark audibly to myself "you're such an idiot!" The trouble is, our brains are also listening, and sometimes they lie to us too!
A life changing TED talk LINK has made me want to work much harder on changing my own thought patterns.
Have you ever thought in a workout "I'm dying!" That is your brain lying to you... you are not really dying, you are exerting yourself, that is all!
I believe in positive affirmations - the antithesis of negative self-talk.
As my daughter was preparing to move to a new school at the beginning of 2017 she expressed many 6yr old fears about that. I had recently seen a viral videoclip from Alisa Latto - who said most of these affirmations with her 6yr old twin boys before they left their home each day! I had Chloe repeat them too, which really helped her feel calmer and more confident. We made a video clip.
Some of the affirmations are
I am brave. I am respectful. When I fall, I get back up because I am resilient. One of my favourites is: "I am not beautiful like you, I am beautiful like me!" I love old souls, wise souls, kind souls, honest and happy souls.
If you'd like, please leave a comment below of your favourite positive quote or affimation.