I know it's been a month since the new year started and I had set my goals, and I know I have to get stuff done and have a roadmap to follow in order to achieve them, but what happens when anxiety and depression try to hold you down?
My main problem is dealing with multiple negative thoughts or stressful events at once. I thought everything started 5 years ago but I think I've been dealing with anxiety since I was a kid, and I just didn't know this illness even existed... few years ago, thoughts about how incapable I was, afraid of failure would consume my mind, I was not able to focus anymore and I constantly felt like I was choking, sometimes I would even shut down, stay in bed the whole day, I was not able to go out because I was so scared that something would have happened to me. This made me think that achieving my goals was impossible. Those were 2 of the worst years of my life, it was really hard, I was not able to even find a "normal" job because I'd get anxiety just thinking about the interview, thinking about my tasks, if I was going to be able to achieve them, etc., but little by little I learned how to leave with it and how to trick myself and focus on one step at a time... even tho I had really bad days, it would only be temporary, until this last December, I found out my mom was sick, I felt how my heart dropped along with my whole world... I never thought I was going to hear that from the stronger woman I've ever known... I tried to be as strong as I could in front of her but inside me, I was dying!... that happened 2 days before my birthday, and she told me she had an appointment with the Dr. on Dec 4th (my birthday) and she wanted me to go with her... we spent the whole day at the hospital... and when the Dr. finally confirmed her diagnosis and told us she needed surgery ASAP, all I could think about was how much I love her, all the times we've shared together and how short life is... anyways, I don't want to get into details, but I knew how tough this year was going to be... I started to think about all those negative thoughts again, not being able to sleep at night ... etc... even tho I try to be strong in front of her, when I am alone, I just can't help it... I know she will be able to go thru all this and at the end, we will just look back and smile at eachother and say - we did it!!!- , but I don't want my anxiety to get in the way... not right now when she needs me the most.
On the other hand, I am sooo happy to get to know so many positive people on this platform, people who make me smile and give me so much support even tho they don't know me... It's usually very hard for me to open up in person, and now it's so crazy how I'm writing this for everyone to see...
Is anyone else dealing with anxiety? how do you overcome depression?