When it comes to success as an entrepreneur, you have to be prepared to face your flaws. This means a cold hard look in the mirror to identify the things that are holding you back.
This can be really hard in a society raised by authoritarian adults. Instead of teaching self reflection, many parents, teachers, or religious leaders teach a defensive deflection to authority.
"Because I said so", or "that's the rules" are responses that many children hear when they ask questions of, or raise concerns to adult authority figures. This teaches children to stuff down real concerns and respond defensively when they are addressed.
When a child raised in such an environment is faced with personal flaws as an adult, it is easy to respond defensively. I think many people in modern American culture function this way.
When the going gets tough, especially as an entrepreneur, its easy to blame everyone around you. You can blame your vendors, your customers, the economy, your business partners, or anyone you please - but the lowest common denominator for success in entrepreneurship is the business owner.
The truth is, business ownership has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. I have come to realize that the difficulty was all created by me. When I first stepped into entrepreneurship I was building Wordpress websites. I would ask for waaaay too little for the amount of work I was putting in and I quickly found myself hungry, overwhelmed and upside down financially.
As time has gone on, my husband and I have started several businesses. Some were failures, others have been varying degrees of success. One we are in the process of turning around right now, and its the one that has provided the greatest opportunities for personal growth.
"When we feel bad about who we are, we are unable to perform successfully in the world around us. We aren’t motivated. We can’t achieve our goals. We limit ourselves to the table scraps of life. [source]
http://liveboldandbloom.com/10/self-confidence/boost-self-esteem-loving-your-flaws-and-failures)
Every time we have been faced with failure we have simply been faced with our personal flaws. Sometimes we were able to address them and correct the course, other times we watched projects slowly stagnate away.
We have read the books, listened to the podcasts, done the coaching calls, and are finally at a point of self-growth where we feel like we can overcome some of our most basic and obvious limitations. These are the limitations that have haunted us for years and prevented us from reaching our full potential.
Here are the greatest lessons I have learned in 6 years of entrepreneurship, I know I have many more to learn and look forward to exploring those as I evolve.
Self Worth
My first major lesson was on in self worth. When you give yourself away for free or for very little, that is what others will see as your value. You set the prescient by accepting lower terms than you need to survive, or by refusing to take less than what you need. When I began to place value on my time and my energy, others did, too.
Strong Boundaries
My second major lesson was in boundary setting. For a very long time I tolerated working with toxic people because of the contributions they brought to the table. Inevitably, these toxic people would make the entire project, business, or relationship toxic. When we began removing these people from our sphere of influence, everything became much easier. Suddenly we could focus on real work instead of drama.
Over Commitment
The issue my husband and I have really struggled with since having children is over commitment. When we decided to homeschool (unschool) our children we didn't really have an understanding of how limited our time and energy would become. It took YEARS for us to start saying NO to projects, ventures, events, meetings, and other side businesses. We are still actively reducing our load, but as visionaries and dreamers and activists, this has been a very hard obstacle for us. This is a limitation that has lead to strained relationships with certain individuals, because we went through a phase of committing to things we could not realistically accomplish. Now that we are starting to say no, or simply putting certain obligations down, we have become more productive in the areas we contribute energy.
Lean Into What Works
For years we have tried to force certain projects to become something they are not. We realized very recently that when we lean into what actually works, we are able to manifest the resources for the projects that need to be subsidized. This has given us a immediate boost in abundance.
Tune Out the Haters
When you are marching to the tune of your own drum you will inevitably have haters. Tune them out. This does not mean tune out people who have legitimate concerns, this means to ignore the people who want to see you fail. These are the people who troll you online with nasty comments, or spread rumors behind your back, or even actively work to sabotage your efforts. It is very easy to listen to their words and feel afraid or question your path. If you make an effort to set strong boundaries and surround yourself with people who believe in you, the words of haters become a blessing. A blessing? Haters? Believe it or not, these people are doing you a favor, they are showing you they are toxic, they are showing you they are not to be worked with. Now you know and can avoid entanglements in the future by returning to the lesson on strong boundaries..
Ask for Help
If you are struggling, ask for help. There is no shame in having a hard time or receiving help. In fact, we have found that the more honest we are about our successes and failures, the more support we receive when we need it. This can be emotional support, financial support, or help working a few shifts behind the register so you can take a break and recharge.
Be Yourself
The most important lesson we have learned about entrepreneurship is to be yourself. When you are in your purest element, you will be the most successful. Stand up for what you think is right, make your work space a place that makes your heart sing. Don't do the tasks you are not good at - hire that out, find an intern, or recruit volunteers. Listen to your gut and act on that.
Some of us struggle with time management issues. Others have a hard time with accounting and balancing books. Maybe you fail to respond to incoming communication in a timely manor, or you over extend yourself to the point of reduced productivity. Some of use have a poor attitude, others don't ask to be compensated for what they are worth. We all have issues that block our success, it when we look in the mirror with humility that we are able to overcome them.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to admit you mess up. As business owners John and I have messed up many times. We have found ourselves trapped in pickles that took months or years to climb our way out. One mess we are still climbing out of. And we climb. We grow. We change. We evolve. We will be successful because we are willing to change.