Please, let people who are close to you know how you feel. Don't be afraid to get help. People think that asking for help is a weakness, when in fact it is a strength to be open to others.

There's no such thing as perfect, yet everything is perfect in their own unique way. You can always try to improve a painting, but there comes to a point where you have to stop, think that it's good enough, and make a new one. "Mistakes" are what make something different. Think like Bob Ross, where there's only happy little accidents.

I wish you the best and hope you find the help you need.