I really hope you would be able to find the job that your looking for very soon. It's funny I worked with IBM too way back in 2010 and I have spent almost four years working on a job that didn't suite me. I was also rooting to take the programming slot, but the competition is too tight.
I guess sometimes even though we really love to get something, we just have to also look else where. You already have a craft, maybe photography is your calling.
RE: You start to lose potential once you start believing in your nightmares rather than your dreams.