In this post, I would like to talk about a subject that's always been a big deal to me & one that is for some reason still controversial. I'm 30 years old and still got a few "good years" before I hit that 35 y/o mark. I'm apparently in prime childbirth and rearing years. Many have stated I'd be a good mother because I take good care of the kids (cats) I already have.
Those are my fur babies. They aren't kids. I don't have to worry about saving up for their college education or them getting shot at school.
Career wise I work in physical therapy with almost exclusively the elderly. Many also have stated that since I am "so good" with my patients, I would be a good Mom. Again, they aren't kids!! Totally different scenario.
Overall I am frustrated with this antiquated way of thinking. It's caused me a lot of issues with extended & immediate family that are astute Christians and think having a kid is just a part of being a woman!
I've never wanted kids. Many call that selfish. I do not think pregnancy or child rearing is the right choice for me. Yes, it's a choice!
I suffer from diagnosed PTSD & major depressive disorder. Undoubtedly, the post partum would kick my arse. It's not selfish to not want a HUMAN to suffer at my expense. Most days my mental illness is fairly well handled with diet, exercise, medication, & lifestyle.
But, I still succumb to days of crippling depression where the bed is my best friend. You don't get to check out as a parent. Having been part of childhood abuse and neglect, I know the devastating psychological effects poor child rearing can have not only at the time, but YEARS later.
As I stated earlier, not having kids in this day and age means I don't have to worry about them being shot at school. Yes, exactly, I am GLAD I'll never have to worry about that. I personally believe we could be on the brink of WWIII at any time. Modern day warfare isn't exactly something I want a kid experiencing.
Hell, war is a part of my real sad family story. My dad was sent back and forth to Iraq right after 9/11. He came back worse mentally than he ever was meaning more abusive.
That is why I could spend this whole post just talking about how one's mental illness impacts a child. But I won't.
There's also serious economical implications. Kids ain't cheap. I have a hard enough time saving money that is required for my own well being let alone that for the needs of a kid.
Despite how broken and messed mine and my siblings lives were (I am the oldest of four), we never went hungry. We did go to a lot of food banks & received WIC - which is a government funded program.
My choice to be childfree has caused me a lot of problems. It's ended & also fractured many relationships. Many call me selfish and apparently I am a "biological dead end."
OH WELL. Many of those people had unplanned pregnancies or are part of the Christian cult.
In short, here's why I plan to be and stay childfree:
- My mental illness will impact the child
- I believe my post partum depression would be very detrimental to any child.
- I feel this world is not doing well what with seemingly on the brink of war and mass shootings all around.
- Economical implications
Thoughts? I know more and more people are choosing the childfree lifestyle for reasons quite similar to mine. I would love to hear from you in the comments below whether you are in agreement with me or not. Thanks for reading.
