Yep, I am in one. My husband is an alcoholic. He is currently in rehab (again), but I'm not in high hopes of continuing with the marriage. Relationships can be distorted by unbalanced dependance, suspicion, lack of trust and lack of communication. Until, the sober mate (me) learns what is wrong with my attitude and how to change myself so he will be forced to face his responsibilities, nothing will change. Say what you mean. Do you mean what you say?
These situations breed resentment, and resentment turns into anger. Anger can actually be a healthy emotion, but it has to be dealt with, not pushed down or bottled up. If not dealt with, anger becomes suppressed to fester in ourselves. This can make us sick, mentally and otherwise. Also, we take out our feeling on others. Our kids carry this burden, and healthy development is hampered. And its not fair to them.
Communication is key in dealing with an alcoholic. Be straight forward and makes things clear. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Continuing on with my path in Al-Anon. Thanks if you read this!