Everybody knows about Murphy's law. Yes, indeed, “anything that can go wrong will go wrong”. Today I want to highlight the topic about the role of our minds in this evil game and may be…how to avoid it. Recently I wrote an article about a power of thoughts and my opinion about all of it.
There is a lot of scientific research that proved all our thoughts have a specific frequency. So, if we consider our reality as some very difficult organized information field, then the frequency of the thought should be appropriate for some sector in this information field. Consequently, if we are afraid of something or don’t want something, we are translating the frequency which is appropriate for a sector where this event will be very likely.
I am sure, everybody has such cases in your lives… It was my examination day. Of course, I was studying the whole night. I learned everything except 2 topics. Not because I was too lazy, just did not have enough information, because got sick and did not have an opportunity to visit the lessons. The possibility to be asked exactly these 2 questions was very low (2/249). Yes, you guessed…I failed.
Let's try to see why:
• I was afraid of failure
• I was almost praying to not to get these questions
• I did not feel self-confident and people around could see it
Yes, this situation was very stressful and I am not sure I could behave in another way. But we usually meet such situations all day long not in such a big scale. Let me tell another story.
In the company, I have worked there was a guy who hated just could not stand peaches. It looked to me that all his nightmares were about this fruit. There were few people who knew about his particularity, the rest thought that he was crazy, some of them even made fun of him! From the beginning, I also did not know…so during my lunch, I decided to change a desktop picture, it was summer…so I choose …peaches. This guy was not far away from me. He started to shout at me, like if I would put some pornographic picture. Yes, he thought that it is the worst thing in the whole universe. Ok, I put grapes and he relaxed. Ones there was one of my colleague`s birthday and he brought a couple of cakes to the kitchen in the office. One of them was with peaches, but it was hidden! Yes, he found this cake and ran to kiss the toilet!
Let’s consider this guy story. He is paranoid about this fruit, and he thought that everybody should think the same. But the truth is that if he fights this fear of peaches this fear and disgust are becoming stronger. He lost his friends just because they were ashamed to stay with him I one room…then he started afraid to lose all his friends.
I recommended this guy to visit a psychologist. He did not agree. So, I offered him at least to talk to me…
Have you watch the film “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. Ok if you did, you know that the main character Willy Wonka could not pronounce the words “family” and “parents”. Because he had a psychological trauma from childhood.
I guessed that probably my friend has something similar. And I was right. Child’s psyche is very sensitive and what cannot influence us when we are an adult can shock a child. So, I asked the guy what was his first experience with peaches. So, he was about 4 or 5. The parents brought peaches from the market. He was playing outside, and when he was back only 2 left. They did not look amazing…but the child was curious. He grabbed one and took a bite…it felt like fungus and he spat it out. When he had a look, there was something moving there. Maybe it was already his imagination, who knows. But there is the fact this child made a conclusion that peaches don’t have right to exist.
His parents were trying to convince him that it is not a rule. Peaches are tasty in general. They forced him to try. As you see this made the situation only worse.
So, since then he was trying to avoid peaches. But there is a rule:
- then stronger you want to avoid something, then there is higher probability you will get it
- to fight something that means to make all your efforts to have it in your life
I told this guy a lot of stories from my own experience. Obviously, he could not change the situation in one day! First, I offered him to play a game. When he would see the peaches, he would not scream or cry. He should slap his hands and tell “very good”. I did not ask him to change his fillings, just pretend to do it. This method is common in positive psychology when you program your brain for a positive chain of events.
I did not explain why I want him to do it, just wanted him to see a result. So, people around him were shocked. And he LOVED this reaction!!! He got totally involved in this game, he had fun. What did I do? Yes, I change the object of his attention. Moreover, it helped to focus him on positive things instead of negative.
Also, this action allowed to do one very important thing: he stopped fighting. He still does not eat peaches, but lets it be… When we met the next time, I asked him how did he feel. According to him now he spent much less energy to resist, he is having fun and making new friends. Of course, many people got attracted by his new habit. But peaches were still a problem…he hated to look at, even if he did not show it.
I could not ask him just to ignore it, it is just impossible. First, he had to accept is as inevitable evil, then let it be and just go away and forget about it. He had to learn how to be empty toward it. This guy had a hobby, he liked a shadow play. So, I asked him the next time he will see the peaches he will do the 1 st routine and then get busy immediately with his hobby, at least for a couple of minutes.
What do you think is the end of this story? Yes, the guy stopped to see peaches everywhere. They still exist, but not in his life. He has more interesting things to focus on. The Murphy's law failed in his case.
So, as you can see the key point is the situation or think we don’t want to have. And the solution is to change the focus from the negative thing to the positive. Be empty toward the problem and don’t give it any emotions (or give it opposite emotion).
If we talk about if from the energy point of view, then it looks like we change the frequency of your thoughts. They are not compatible anymore with a sector where the problem exists.