I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots babe
I just wanna be yours…
“I Wanna be yours” by Arctic Monkeys
Have you ever been in love? Or maybe you are married and have children? Ok, if you are a love guru can you tell me “What is love? How can you guess is this love real or fake?”
Today I want to share my views about it with you. What we call love it is some kind of feeling when you are just satisfied when you are admiring somebody or something, but do not try to chain it, to own it. Love it is like an air we breathe…it is with us, but it does not belong to us.
Yes, this topic is very controversial. People call it an absolute love. That is out of this definition is just an affection. When you are attached to somebody or something, it is like trade market relations: I give you my love and my time and expecting to get attention and caress in return. And what if a person does not love in return. Yes, in this case, we just suffer and blame him/ her. Where is this “LOVE”. There is no love, there is a deal which failed.
I was walking through the forest. It was a nice sunny summer day, birds were singing and a creek was making a beautiful melody. After some time, a found rare flowers I have never seen before. Yes, I fell in love with it from the first sight. The smell was so amazing and these tender petals…I spent there about an hour just admiring and then let it go. I still love these flowers, but they don’t love me. Moreover, they dont even know about my existence. And you know what? I am ok about it and no waiting for it.
As you guess, this was an example how the absolute love can look. Let`s change the story and make it about affection.
One summer day I was walking through the forest and saw beautiful flowers. Not bad, I “love” it. I want it to be with me forever and I cannot lose a chance. I grabbed a knife from my pocket and cut it. I brought it home and put in the water. It was so beautiful and I wanted to save this beauty with me, changing the water every day and expecting the flowers will live a long life. But in a couple of days, I noticed that it looks different. It was dying and I got angry. It did not want to stay with me and belong to me…
The rules are equal and for humans` relationship. It is just so difficult to accept that this world does not belong to us. We want to rule it, but it is not a pet.
I read in some magazine an article about a couple who are married for 7 years. The husband is alcohol addicted and hit his wife from time to time. The wife wanted a divorce but never applied for this. In the interview, the woman said that she so got used to her husband and can not imagine her life without him. He is the father of her children and they have a property together. So, she “loves” him.
Is it love? Don`t you think there are too many conditions for this “love” to exist? I love you if 1) you come back home in time 2) bring all your salary to the family 3) have a child with me 4) share goods with me and have a property.
Ok, this is an extreme situation. But in usual life, we get mad if our love is too busy with something or don’t look at us properly…And you know what? I am not teaching you life. I am the same…If I can just love art, music, nature…I cannot just love a person. And this is my weakness. If he is in a bad mood it influences me, if he is angry it can ruin my day. I am not perfect… Maybe I am attached, but in some way, I am enjoining it. Yes, I don’t need money or goods, but I want his time. Maybe I am spoiled, but it makes my day better. This is some kind of mixture of love and affection.
Here is the question: Is it possible to love the person with absolute love? I fail. If you can give me your recipe for this miracle.
With love ❤️ ,
Christina