Let's make this year the greatest so far! Let’s set goals, make plans, decisions and stick to them. Let’s follow our dreams. Enough of waiting. Let’s make the change! Finally!
I know it’s hard. No matter what you do you could always do more and do better. So don’t get scared. Just take it as a big opportunity to make yourself better and greater. I’m sure we all have this little secret wishes we are dying to achieve. Do you ever ask yourself what are you doing wrong? Or maybe why are you doing it wrong? If I think about myself all I feel is sadness and huge inferiority. But why? I am really that bad? Or maybe I just don’t see and hear the praise others are saying to me? Am I really that incompetent? But I know I am not…I know I am quite good. And If I know that I am good, why do I still feel as sh**t? Because I feel like everyone else is better than me…and because I know I could be better. Then why am I not better? Why don’t I try harder? Why am I stuck with being good if I don’t feel good? Why do I always feel like I am doing the wrong thing? Why I don’t trust my own decisions? Why don’t I know who I am? Who decides my decisions? Why do I feel that it’s not me who is telling me what to do? And the best part of all is that when I really work hard and I start to feel confident and satisfied with my work and my life finally starts to make sense…this particular person comes…that I care about so much…and makes it all irrelevant and unworthy. Why is that? I get angry and upset but in the end all I can do is agree. Because this person is right. I am no one and my work is nothing.
I have so many beginnings behind me already…but I am still not done apparently. Here is one big, important beginning right in front of me…I can feel it strongly coming to change my life upside down…and I don’t know how I feel about it…is that terrible fear I’m feeling…or restrained enthusiasm and a little of curiosity? I really can’ tell. When I want to let the good vibes take over, panic and fear take control and paralyze me so I can’t move. But whatever is coming…I want it to change me and my world. Because I need it or I will lose my mind in this disgusting puddle of insufficiency and destructive feelings that result in even worse behaviour.
So let’s make it different. Let’s make ourselves important. Because in the end ourselves is all we are left with. So let’s be good, let’s be great, let’s have fun and let’s be happy. It’s all that counts.
