01
Recently, there is a movie that is known as the best film of the year in Korea. It is only a short burst of more than 4 minutes. The people who read it have shed tears, as if they all saw themselves.
The storyline is very simple. The male and female protagonists were originally a pair of loving couples, but after the marriage, the trivial life has consumed passion. After getting used to each other like the air, they no longer express love. Even the annual anniversary is only used as a A ritual that is optional.
After thinking for a long time, the husband felt that he and his wife had no feelings. If they continued to go on, they would not be happy, and they proposed a divorce.
The wife thought for a night and agreed to the divorce, but she hoped that her husband could complete some of her requests in the next month.
Although the husband was unwilling to reluctantly, he agreed to his wife after thinking that everything was over 30 days later.
In the 30 days of the countdown, the wife wants her husband to do very simple things: hold her around before going to work, wake up and kiss her, walk on the road and hold her hand, say "I love you" before going to bed... ...
At the beginning, when the husband held hands, he liked to go to the execution ground. When the fingertips touched it, he retracted. When he hugged, he kept the distance. When he kissed, he barely touched his lips and turned around. He was absent-minded when he spoke.
However, 15 days later, when the wife extended her right hand, the husband could naturally extend his left hand, hug her under the light, and kiss her when she got up, as if she had returned to the two when they fell in love. The love and care that he had neglected before was once again found.
The 30-day deadline has arrived, and the husband finally understands that he is wrong. They don't love, but forget how to love.
When enthusiasm is flat in oil and salt rice, the heart that once was fanatical will always feel lost, but we have neglected it. In fact, the life of plain water is the normal state of life.
02
Men and women have different demands for marriage. After marriage, a woman wants a man to change everything for her. A man wants a woman to not change everything. It is a pity that neither of these will happen.
From a scientific point of view, the good feeling between men and women will secrete dopamine, and when they fall into love, they will secrete phenethylamine. If they want to have intimate behavior with each other, they will secrete oxytocin and hormones. They know each other and cherish each other to secrete enkephalin.
Unfortunately, all chemical reactions have a length of time. The effective reaction period of dopamine is three months, and phenethylamine is two years. Although the reaction period of oxytocin and hormone is relatively long, it has nothing to do with love.
The chemical properties of enkephalin are very stable, which can make a piece of love safe, smooth and smooth into a family relationship, enough to make a pair of strangers and strangers together.
How long is the validity of love? The answer is two years, up to three to four years.
If a pair of men and women live together for more than two years, because of the habit of indifference, dopamine is gone, phenethylamine just happened to pass the reaction period, no recovery of enkephalin, all the secretion process returned to normal. At this time, you began to notice the various problems of the other side, and slowly could not tolerate each other's shortcomings.
You will be angry, why are there more and more yellow faces in front of you?
You will feel wronged, why did Prince Charming become a lame man?
When you are in love, an advantage can cover all the shortcomings. For a long time, the enthusiasm is reduced, the advantages become the right thing, the shortcomings are always so blind, and again and again, become unbearable.
There is also a shorter life love, often after a three-month love period, lost to the subsequent run-in period, when the passion of each other fades, you see the naked human nature without chemical cover.
e, and slowly could not tolerate each other's shortcoming
You will be angry, why are there more and more yellow faces in front of you?
You will feel wronged, why did Prince Charming become a lame man?
When you are in love, an advantage can cover all the shortcomings. For a long time, the enthusiasm is reduced, the advantages become the right thing, the shortcomings are always so blind, and again and again, become unbearable.
There is also a shorter life love, often after a three-month love period, lost to the subsequent run-in period, when the passion of each other fades, you see the naked human nature without chemical cover.