ohh miss loneliness, i got to say i had my fair amount of time with her, most of the people get the wrong idea when it comes to loneliness, when someone says "i am lonely", thats what people pictures the situation:
something you need to know, being lonely is not being alone, far from that, someone whos alone got himself into a relatively simple issue to solve, however, someone whos lonely, boy, this is a big problem, by that i mean a complex issue to solve, i want to let it be clear that this is based on my own experience so there will be only my opinions, moving on.
particularly im going to talk about loneliness caused by a relationship, ive been in 2 scenarios and i saw 1 scenario.
- The first one when you just like someone and you dont have the courage to tell her or him;
- The second one is when you like someone and you tell her or him but things go south (no reciprocity);
- The third the one i saw is when you like someone and you tell her or him and things goes they way you want it to go.
for all the scenarios for my surprise with the third, it all goes the same path, when it comes to loneliness everything converge in an odd i dont know how to say this, odd force, way you pick, when you feel it youll know what im talking about or maybe not so....
What have i noticed?
there are a couple of steps or roads people usually go, i say this because i went there and it was the same but with just a few synonyms. these are the steps:
The First Step
the first one is when you feel you dont need what you feel right now, you dont need the emotions towards the person you have interest, you say to yourself in a gently way that its a loss of time, its something you dont need, you dont want, you have more things to do, you can feel the same for another person(even thought in the end thats not true, atleast for me, i dont know what is this but shes the only one who makes me feel this way and more than 10 years have passed), thats the first step, the defense mechanism rising to protect you from the painful truth its like being under anesthesia effect in order to not feel pain.
when the first step "take roots" it evolves, because you are know starting to realizing that you are wrong, you need the feelings, that shes the only one who can make you feel that way, basically you start to notice the "wall" you created to protect you form the painful truth, but your brain, your subconscious is whole new level of smart than your consciousness, so when it realizes that you are getting closer to the truth, you start the second step.
The Second Step
the second step, you know that situation when youre are trying accuse someone but at the right moment youre about to do it the person admits the crime just to get the upperhand so that it has enough time to turn the table, that more or less it.
the second step is when you admit that youre just lying to yourself, it makes you realize about the "defense" just to make you focus on the reasons, to make to you focus on the things it kept from you in a way so subtle so gentle you wont even notice the pain, its like being sold something that will make you sick and even thought you know it you buy it anyways. The second step is a preparation for the Third step.
Third Step
so after the second step, you now think you know everything, you now are out of the matrix, nope youre wrong. so the third step is when you think you know everything so you start searching this to keep you occupied, to fill the void , for some is videogames, some learn a language, others learn how to play guitar, its different for most.
so the third step is easy, you search and find something to take most of your time, then comes the fourth step
The Fourth Step
this is when you not only make the new "hobby" of yours take a significant amount of time but you start to develop an addiction, i mean you start to like what youre doing so much, you feel like you do not need anything else, whenever you got time you will do the "hobby", but the real deal comes with the fifth step.
The Fifth Step
this one is short, you start to "love" your addiction, depending on the addiction you will know that its something bad but you still go for it, you still smile when you see your guitar, your game, whatever it is, you start to love it in a way that will make you feel less and less interested in everything else, in society, in humans, in the person you like, you will start to go into a dark and yet bright place made only for you, your social skills if you once had one will start to fall apart, you will use more and more logic that emotions, you start to fail to know how to talk to people so you will start to hide youself in that place made only for you more and more, until you dont feel like you need people around you, a lonely person will talk to people, will participate in a conversation, will be surrounded by people but in his mind hes not being himself, he can only be himself when hes doing his things(hobbies), unless you take a closer look, you analyze well the interaction it will be hard to one identify a lonely person.
AND FROM THIS, YOU ARE LONELY.
i saw people going to what i call sixth step, but in my case the fifth step was the furthest i have been.
Now i cannot say im not lonely, maybe i am in another kind of "illusion" made to give me the impression im not lonely anymore or something i dont know but i feel like im in control so...
Note: errors may be found, just get the essence of it or use your inner dictionary to correct it, im lazy i wrote this and it took a lot of feelings i wish i forgot so sorry for not checking the spelling.
i dont really know how to get out if i got out, all i can say is you will eventually get out.
so thats what i think about loneliness and the step i had been throughout my life.
I REALLY HOPE THIS POST HELP IN SOMETHING SHARE TO ANYONE YOU FEEL LIKE NEED TO LEARN OR READ THIS.
