She asked me when we will get married, for some moment I was speechless. The wedding day is a single day but marriage last for a lifetime, this is why I had to think carefully before giving her an answer. I looked straight in the eye and said, sweetheart, give me some time to think it through, I will surely marry you. Though she wasn't so sure but she had to trust me.
Even in the deepest love relationship - when lovers say 'I love you' to each other - we don't really know what we're saying, because language isn't equal to the complexity of human emotions...Duane Michals
Trust is a very important key in every relationship if it can survive. I knew deep down her that she yearned to be married sooner. I had a lot on my mind to think over and so I couldn't fix a date at that moment. Women don't joke when it comes to marriage. They will go any length when they want to get married, men however are different.
The future often looks blunt and doubting when considering marriage. That's because marriage means an extra issues to your life. Many have ventured into marriage happily but have divorced sadly yet others still want to venture and not even considering how they will overcome the enmesh issues in marriage before they marry.
The fear of making a life time commitment
Many people now fear to get married because it comes with bunch of problems. Marriage is scary to many men and women and it is as the result of how life turns when you marry:
The pressure of becoming a father or a mother
Life becomes frustrating when children join the couple. The addition to the family means new changes. Their life demands a lot from the couple now and is very tiring raising them.
A great responsibility on you now
You now have responsibilities at home and you can't run away from. You have to partake in decision-making for the family, give help when you needed in doing the laundry, cooking, washing the dishes, helping the children to prepare for school, making career decisions and ensuring their safety.
Condition changes
The shock of your life comes when the person you have known for years changes as time passes by and sometimes simple discussion generate an argument and fight. There is no surety or guarantee that things will always be the same when you marry and you must understand that.
Anyway, If you are not married that is not to scare you from marrying, but to help you to have better understanding about issues of life . If you have married then know that challenges always help to bring the best in us and so don't run away from your marital challenges.
Think before stepping out of your independent life
The moment you live single, live it independently, you cannot be a dependant and expect others to depend on you. Been an individual and managing your own life comes with some amount of freedom. At your own free will you go to any place you like, hang out with friends and have fun anytime you want. Nobody cares about how you want to manage your life but not when you get married.
Youngsters get excited and jump into relationship without first all planning to meet the challenges of time. Life is not simple as you climb its ladder to the pedestals.
Until we are enlighten about the issues of life we may not even enjoy it to the fullest. Moving alone in life is dangerous because two are better than one. You cannot journey through life when you are alone. You need someone in your life, but then things get tighter too when you are two.
A woman narrated to me how marriage has devastated her entire life and wished not to have married. I became curious and so I inquired if she meant what she said, She retorted "I wished I had not marry in the first place". She lamented how her marriage has ruined her life and taken away her entire freedom. She was someone who socialises easily but her husband remained the opposite. Things didn't work out for this couple.
So with such challenges that comes in marriage, could marriage be a bad idea? I don't think so
Confront the challenges
Life is uninteresting when you meet a complete different person who wants to spend the rest of his or her life with you. The hardest creation to deal with is humans because of our many differences. You may meet someone who comes from a different background, a different race, family, culture and there is more you need to learn and that's indeed a tedious work.
That's life, its issues are unrelenting. We have more to discover about life than we have done already. Confront all the challenges of life today and remember:
Been married doesn’t mean you now have a perfect relationship ever but trust me, it is the best.
