I was born and raised in a small town in northern Sweden by a loving mother, and spent a lot of time with my relatives. My father on the other hand wasn't around that much, he was an alcoholic and could be very abusive when he was drinking. I know that he didn't want to be a part of my life or that he didn't love me, he told me this from time to time.
I had a happy childhood, I spent a lot of time with my uncle who has always been a big role model for me. I would say that even though he only was 11 years older than me, he was more a father to me than my own father.
When I was five I experienced the first death of a loved one, my lovely grandmother who had cancer past away. I remember how hard it was to understand what death was, she had always been an angel in my eyes and now she was a real angel, she was watching over us all.
A couple years later my mother got the same cancer as my grandmother died from, I was now 10 years old I think and my whole life fell apart. As she was getting treatment she went in and out the hospital and I had to stay with my alcoholic father instead.
I remember this time in my life so well, I was worried constantly for my mother, I was also worried for my father.. I didn't feel safe in his company, he was drunk all the time or he was laying somewhere passed out. I didn't get much sleep and I even fell asleep during my classes in school.
My incredibly strong mother managed to beat the cancer and after about a year I could move back in with her. But I couldn't really let go of my drunk father, he was still my father and even if he didn't love me I loved him, so I continued to live with him 2 weeks every month. As his personal caretaker I was growing up really fast, too fast I would say.
Fast forward until I was about to turn 13, I felt like my whole life was a mess. Who am I? I was different and my own father didn't even love me. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere, didn't know what I would do in my life.
In this moment, in this world of chaos, I met what would come to be my best friend. His father was also an alcoholic, this made everything so easy, we could talk and we understood each other. From this point we spent every day with each other.
School was not something that we had in mind, we skipped classes and did other things, we had bigger plans, we would get rich and should buy an apartment in Australia together when we were 18.
We had a lot of business ideas, both good and bad, legal and illegal. One of then was to resell cigarettes to kids in our school. We bought a pack of cigarettes for about $3, then sold them for $1 per cigarette, since it was 20 of them in a pack we earned $17. We could sell 2-3 packs a day for a couple weeks until the teachers did find out..
We were also unafraid and liked trying out new things. It all started out with alcohol, then we smoked our first joint, we tried mushrooms, LSD, GHB, ecstasy and amphetamine. Then we tried a couple research chemicals, 2CB, Mephedrone.
We met a lot of new friends, we came close to them too and our experiments continued with tramadol, morphine, oxycontine and buprenorphine. Many of our friends were already addicted at this point, but not me, I had bigger plans. My life goal was to become successful and rich.
I was now 18, I had just received my drivers license and all the drugs were put aside for now. I was spending all my time either in the car or with my nose in some educational material about trading, because I had my goals and I was very aware of them.
To be continued...
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