Recently, I experienced my very first live stream on YouTube, with K-Dub, CryptoCandor, and Sara from Altcoin Buzz Ladies. I felt very privileged to have been given the opportunity to be in the "same room" as these pros, especially being so new to this space.
However, as amazing as this experience was, I walked away from it feeling very disappointed with myself. It was a similar feeling that I’ve experienced after a bad audition, where I’ve put so much pressure on myself to do a good job but then let my nerves get the better of me and I end up walking away feeling like I didn’t do myself justice, and then repeatedly beat myself up over it.
This was a very unexpected outcome for me and brought up a whole load of surprising emotions.
The last disappointing audition I had was when I had to audition for Woody Harrelson - White Men Can’t Jump, True Detective, Hunger Games - I’m a massive fan of his work. Again, I let my nerves get the better of me and I didn’t just perform the scene badly but I also didn’t represent myself in the best light when introducing myself, nervously smiling and having being generally awkward. Same thing happened when I met Elon Musk. I sat next to him at a dinner once and felt so intimidated by his presence that I couldn’t think of anything “intelligent enough” to say, which is something that I regret so much to this day.
Remembering these experiences, I suddenly realised just how important this live stream must have been to me, which is why I put so much pressure on myself instead of just relaxing and being myself. This experience has made me realise more than this though; it has highlighted how in both occasions I didn’t feel worthy enough to be in those rooms, to be in the presence of people more experienced, knowledgeable, talented, or successful than myself. This kind of thinking is not healthy for anyone, and can be applied to any situation in life, including the psychology of a trader or investor, where questioning your worthiness can hinder your confidence and can cloud any decisions you make.
In fact, this reminded me of an article I recently read by Capitalist Creations about the benefits of being the poorest person in the room, or in my case, the least experienced/knowledgeable person in the room. When you surround yourself with wealthier people you can learn so much, not just about whatever space you’re in, but you also get an insight to the way they think and their general attitude, a chance to see a different way of thinking.
So what did I learn from my livestream experience?
- I smile a lot when I’m nervous. No poker for me.
- I love talking about my family.
- But seriously… As a content creator, I have a huge responsibility within this space to others who are seeking information.
In regard to feeling unworthy, well that’s just an illusion and a form of self suppression, because we’re all worthy.
We are all a part of this amazing ecosystem and all have a contribution to make to it, whether you’re Satoshi Nakamoto, a YouTuber, a small time investor, a developer, a Schiller, or an enthusiast. We all have a part to play.
In this particular ecosystem there is no part that is insignificant because we all need each other for our world to thrive. The bigger fish need the smaller fish - and the whales even need plankton to survive and vice versa, because as much as these projects need their big private investors, they also need the smaller players to actually help spread the word, the use cases in using their platform and tokens. The big YouTubers wouldn’t be where they are today without the viewers smashing up the likes and subscribing. Surprisingly, we also need the predators (sharks/scammers etc). WHY? Because they keep us vigilant in this space, they help us to not get too comfortable and complacent. We all have a vital role to play.
But as with all ecosystems, it requires balance. Too much of anything can tip the scales - too many whales, too many predators, or too many plankton. Even the good stuff like the dizzying heights of last year’s bull run, which unfortunately, I didn’t get to enjoy as I entered the space after the wind had changed direction! But you see, there’s always something that has to give when the pendulum swings too far one way. We all have a responsibility within this space, and I think we all have to recognise that and question what exactly one is contributing to the ecosystem and if it is helping to sustain it and help it to thrive (or not).
We all deserve to be in this space. We are amongst the few who can see that we are standing on the leading edge of something with massive potential, that is going to be a big disruptor to things as we know it. We all matter - no player is too small.