Do you ever agree to something even when you know you do not want it? Do you have the problem of interrupting a relationship, job, or living reality that you know is not the right solution for you? Do you say NO and setting the boundaries cause concern either anxiety?
One of the most valuable lessons I have learned in life and in work with customers is that you sometimes have to say NO to say yes to something more constructive in your life.
Before you continue to read, take a break for a moment and think of one thing you know you should NO. Now, with that in your mind, say aloud the big NO! Do not mute softly, say it out loud, even if you are not at home and you are not alone and you have to go to another room! What is the feeling when you did this?
For many, this simple two-letter word brings a lot of discomfort, embarrassment and anxiety. As children, we have probably not heard it so often that we are experiencing it as adults as a bad, insulting word. Also, many of us grew up in families where their needs and feelings were not appreciated and where they learned that other desires need to be put in front of their own. By its very nature, we want to be accepted and we may not want to disappoint others because we know how bad it is.
But the next thing is to say that when our intuition screams, it does not actually bring much more evil than good. Not only will it cost us time and undermine our self-esteem, but it will also limit our personal power. Moreover, tuning to others is in essence damaging to the relationship, since the motif of the tune is actually selfish and is not authentic for both sides. None of this is good!
Ultimately, if we want to live an authentic life, we need to do what's best for us, even if it means to say NO and disappoint others. Every time we say YES for something we do not have a 100% sense, it means to say NO to some possibility and to miss it.
So, for every NO we say, there is room for something better.
The next time someone asks you to do something, stop and stay clean to your best. Also, you may wonder: How should I respond if I know he / she will not respond negatively? If you understand that saying NO to your best, then that is the answer you need to give. If you feel anxious or concerned about it, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it is quite normal for you to feel uncomfortable when doing something new.
The more you believe in your intuition when you say NO, you will find it easier to do so. Eg. if someone asks you to keep his dog for a week and you do not answer, you can say: I understand your situation, but I'm sorry to disappoint you, I'm busy with a few projects and I will not worry about your dog. Therefore, there is no need to over-explain or defend. Just tell the truth and show compassion. Since you can not control the emotions of others, what you can surely manage is your choice of how to respond.
# And remember, say NO lets us tell yes for something better!
